


Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time

by omnisan



Category: Grand Theft Auto V
Genre: Chapters are short bc I'm gay, F/F, F/M, IT'S GAY, Multi, but not like what most people would expect?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 09:06:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 26,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7634317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omnisan/pseuds/omnisan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel Cooley is waiting for the day she can move in with her girlfriend, but not the unusual phone call that leads to an unexpected chain of events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Phone Call

Jessica had her eyes on a one bedroom apartment big enough for both us of in Little Seoul. She said living there will make her feel right at home, though I thought the resemblance to Korea was barely there. Only a few buildings portrayed a certain architecture to give the vibe of being in Korea, but I guess the people there also had an influence. Jessica would be able to use English or Korean in the area and maybe make some friends; something I haven't been able to do yet. Perhaps her brother was also an influence on her, seeing as he lived only a few blocks away from the apartment. He, and I, had been persuading her to move out of her parents' house.

It was a big decision for us to move in together. We had been dating for a while now, eight months I think. We met at the beach one day when she visited her brother for the week. I wasn't usually the go getter type, unless it involved fast cars, but my friend pushed me to talk to her. Despite living in Korea, her English was excellent, perhaps even better than mine. It was always painful and awkward to tell people you're gay; they usually deemed you as scum of the earth and never spoke to you again, or something along those lines. With Jessica, I just blurted out that I thought she was attractive then proceeded to ask her on a date. To my surprise she said yes, and kept in touch with me ever since.

Long distance relationships were hard, and although I wasn't religious, I had faith in her; in us. We talked at least once a week due to time zones, but texted each other daily. When she called me one day, already at her brother's apartment, she said she had big news; she was moving to Los Santos. That was when I ate my fear, again, and asked her if we could move in together. She loved the idea, but neither of us had the money for an apartment at the time. We agreed to work for an apartment, which she did. I kept racing.

It was a bad habit, sort of like gambling. You win money and you lose some. I would always rank in the top three, but rarely ever win first place. I personally preferred sports car races; I loved the speed and the adrenaline rush. Sports car races were hard to come by when you didn't actually own a sports car. I'd have to pay someone to use their car, only to lose and be out money. But I couldn't stop.

So here I was, standing in front of the apartment Jessica had set her eyes on, hoping maybe it would give me the strength and reminder that I had a goal, and disappointing Jessica wasn't something I wanted to do. I had a couple grand saved up in my bank account, but I needed more money and fast. There was no way I was going to get a 9 to 5, boring as hell job. When Jessica came around in a few weeks, I'd have to. I loved her more than anyone and I'd go to working class hell to make her happy.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I smiled. I had been waiting for her call all morning, hoping she'd have enough energy to call me before she passed out after her long day of work.

"Hey babe, guess where I am right now!"

"You're in Little Seoul right now."

My smile faded. The voice that spoke wasn't Jessica's and the caller's number was restricted when I double checked. I don't know how I missed that when I answered.

"Who is this?"

"That's not important right now. What's important is that you're Rachel Cooley and you know how to drive."

"What is this about? Is this for a race?"

"I know you are looking at buying an apartment and if you can help us, we are willing to provide you with money. All we need is you to drive."

"Who the hell is this?"

"Will you accept the offer?"

The man never answered my questions and sounded suspicious, but money and cars were involved. I thought about my current situation and where I aimed to be.

"I'll do it."

"Good. I'm sending you details right now. Don't be late."

The call ended, followed by a ping alerting me of the new text message. There was no callback number, only an address and time. It was for tonight. The entire situation seemed very shady and suspicious, but I hoped the payout was going to be worth it. I had to tell myself I was doing this for Jessica, for us. A second ping brought me to the present, this one saying to dress in all black. Looked like I had to make a shopping trip on the way. Whatever this was about, I was already getting excited. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I made the girlfriend Jessica Jung, former Girls' Generation member, because...why not? I want her to be my girlfriend so, yeah. It works.


	2. The Gig

I showed up to what seemed to be an abandoned clothing factory in brand new black chinos, shirt and hoodie. Several vehicles were already parked outside so I parked my blood red motorcycle by a dumpster before heading inside and up the stairs.

"It's about time you got here."

A short, chubby man with glasses and a cane waved me over into an office. I recognized him as the one I spoke to on the phone. Inside the room,several other people loitered around; two on a beaten up couch, one looking out the window, and another fiddling with a radio, growling when all he got was static.

"You our new driver? A chick?"

A black male, probably not much older than me was the first to speak. Be it the mention of a chick or my lack of response, all eyes were on me.

"Well hel-lo."

The one fiddling with the radio broke the momentary silence and strutted over to me with a smile. He was 10, maybe 15 years older than me tops, though his hair was already thinning.

"Christ, T, will you leave her alone? She just got here."

I looked at the owner of this voice. A fatter male with a look of annoyance on his face sat next to the black male. The one at the window still hadn't said anything, while T leaned against the wall next to me, raising his hands toward the annoyed one.

"Alright. Well now that we're here I guess we should run through the plan." The cane man hobbled over to a board with pictures, maps, and blueprints.

To say the least, I was confused. I stood through the rundown without a peep. The man, T, kept hovering around me, making me quite uncomfortable on top of me already feeling very out of place.

"Any questions?" Cane man said.

"Are you guys robbing this guy?" I was baffled.

"That's what we do, sweetheart." T said.

"All we need is you to be our escape driver, especially if anything happens. L said you could drive and we'll give you a cut of the money." The fat man said.

"What if I decide not to do this?" I asked with caution.

"That would be a terrible mistake as everyone in this building has a gun on them right now."

I looked between them, realizing I may have gotten myself into a bad situation; perhaps an even worse one if I declined the job.

"I don't wanna have to kill a pretty face." T said, leaning closer to me.

"Okay, I said I'll do it. What should I call you?"

"We don't use formalities on the job. I'm M and this is F." He pointed to the black male. "You've already met L and T."

"What about him." I nodded to the guy at the window.

"Don't worry about him. Let's go."

I drove, alone, to the location L had put in my gps. I wasn't in a sports car, but I could feel the energy in the palm of my hands. This car was ready to go. But to my dismay, I sat waiting, listening to the chatter through the headset, waiting for my signal.

"Guys you need to get out now. The cameras will be back online in ten seconds."

"That's not enough time, L!" M roared.

"The cameras will alert the cops if you don't hurry."

"Why not give the newbie a test?" Laughed T.

With only a few seconds remaining, I prepared myself for the pickup. There was doubt in my mind that this would be easy, more so now that the wail of police car sirens went off in the distance.

"R, we need you here, now." M huffed.

I pulled the car out of it's hiding spot and made for a quick pickup. The three guys hopped in, one of them barely yelling to step on it before I had already hit the pedal. We sped down the highway with the cops far from us before I turned onto some side roads and alleys to make sure the coast was clear. I wanted to speed away even once the cops were gone, but I had to take a minute to breathe before easing the pedal down to return to the factory. The guys celebrated their score, M also giving his praise to me. Back at the factory, L and the mysterious man were waiting for our return.

"I see you all made it back alive and in one piece."

"Is that supposed to be a joke?" I asked, taking offense.

"No. It just means you met our standards."

"You definitely meet my standards." T purred behind me.

"I've never met a chick that could drive like that. Damn." F said, taking a seat on the couch.

"So where's my money?"

L chuckled, "You'll have your cut in a few days. It'll be wired to your account."

"How do you know my account? Can I trust you?"

"We trusted you so now you have to trust us."

He had a point, but one I didn't particularly enjoy.

"Should I be in contact with you guys at all, or…?"

"We will be in contact with you, if anything comes up. Now go home and stay out of trouble for a few days."

I rolled my eyes at his last sentence. I may have been much younger than him, but I wasn't a child. I wasn't planning on doing something stupid after a stunt like that. Once I had my money, I'd be happy.

"I'll walk you to your car." T said.

It was a kind act for him to do, seeing as now it was now dark and not in what I would call the best part of town, though I didn't live in the greatest part of town either. No place in Los Santos seemed particularly safe, some parts just more than others.

"You ride a bike?" T asked.

"All I could afford." I replied.

"Well now that you're in the business, there's no point in hiding things. I'm Trevor."

"Rachel." I said, holding my hand out.

Instead of a handshake like I expected, he took my hand and kissed it, as if I were a princess. I became really flustered, not expecting it whatsoever. No man has ever done that, so that added to the blush crawling in my face.

"I need to get home." I said, pulling my hand away to put my helmet on and hide my burning face.

"Drive safe, doll face."


	3. Reunited

I knew what Trevor wanted. Many guys had showed an interest in me, but it was never reciprocated. There hadn't been many guys to pique my interest before I understood that I liked girls, and telling that to my family resulted in me moving to Los Santos in the first place.

My uncle took me in, but was never home to really care if I was alive. He was always out who knows where until the wee hours of the night. When I woke up, he was usually gone again. I never saw him around town, either. I only knew he came home during the night because things would be displaced and leftovers would be eaten.

When I finally pulled up out front of my uncle's place, I rushed inside to send Jessica a good morning text before I headed off to bed. I had debated on telling her about the score, but decided against it. She thought I had a decent job, so when the money came through, I'd surprise her with gifts and a down payment on the apartment.

For two days, I went about my normal business before I got another call from a restricted number.

"Rachel, I've wired your cut to your account. You were to get five percent from the overall cut, so I suggest you check your account to confirm everything is there, not that I'd do you wrong. I'll wait."

I opened up my browser and went into my account and almost died in the middle of the sidewalk. Almost $120k had been deposited, making me look rich after what I had before.

"Holy shit." I whispered into the phone.

L chuckled, "I take it you're satisfied?"

"I— Yes, thank you."

"No, thank you. I' sure we'll be in contact again sometime."

With that, the line went dead and I needed to lean up against the building for much needed air. I now had more than enough for a down payment; I could practically buy the apartment all on my own. Jessica would barely have to add to the pile, and she could move in a lot quicker. Though, I knew she wanted to pay for it fairly together.

Call me immediately, I texted her.

It was the middle of the day here, so the middle of the night for her. I hated timezones for reasons like this, but I couldn't just wait around. I had to do something.

It was around 10 that night when I finally received a call from Jessica. I had so much time to prepare what I was going to say, to make the large amount of cash believable to her.

"Jess, I have great news."

"Tell me."

"I got… an extremely generous bonus, and I'm proud to say that together we have enough for the apartment."

Jessica squealed and cheered from the other end, and I couldn't help myself but to do the same. I explained I would be able to make the down payment first thing in the morning, and she could move in sooner than expected. As for herself, she had a few loose end to tie before she hopped on the first plane out of Korea. It would be at least a week before I saw her in our brand new apartment. I couldn't wait.

After hanging up, I knew I needed to sleep so I could run out in the morning, but I couldn't. My mind and soul was filled with excitement; I could barely sit still. Somehow, after hours of repeatedly checking the time on my phone, I managed to fall asleep.

  
I handed the large sum of cash to the man selling the apartment in exchange for three keys, one for each of us and one spare. I could move in immediately and make things look good for Jessica. Her brother helped me move what little I had owned into the new apartment, since I couldn't transport anything on a motorcycle and my uncle was useless. Little by little it became our own home. All I needed was Jessica's touch to the place and everything would be perfect.

A week after me moving in, I got a call from her, at the airport.

"I'm home!" She called.

"Wait there, I'll come pick you up!"

"How? I have a bunch of suitcases."

"I'll get a cab!"

On the way, we made a quick stop so I could buy a bouquet of flowers, as if that wasn't enough of a surprise for her. There was a brand new, white with a pale pink stripe Weeny Issi sitting in the garage and the keys were for her. As we approached the landing bay, I saw her leaning against a wall, playing on her phone.

"Jessica!"

"Rachel!"

I embraced her like I hadn't seen her in years, giving her a kiss until she pulled away for air. People were probably staring at us, but neither of us could care about what they thought. It was just us in that moment, until the cab driver honked at us to hurry up. I quickly loaded her luggage while she took a seat in the back, finding the flowers I bought for her.

"Are these for me?"

"Of course." I smiled.

The ride home couldn't happen any slower. We were caught in a traffic jam for a good chunk on the ride before, finally, Jessica could set foot in our apartment.

"It's perfect." She whispered, breathless from awe.

"I have one more surprise for you." I said, taking her hand.

"You've spoiled me so much already, what more is there?"

As we took the elevator down the the underground car park, I handed her a tiny box with a bow on it. She gave me a quizzical look before opening it to find her car key.

"What's this?" She asked.

The elevator doors opened and I led her to the cool underground, "Press the button."

Jessica pressed the automatic unlock and only one car's lights shined in the rather dim area. As she walked closer I could hear her gasp. She had posted on LifeInvader how her dream was to own a Weeny Issi some day and I made that happen, along with her brother who got it custom painted.

"Rachel…"

She looked at me with tears eyes and I smiled, opening my arms for her to hug me and cry if she wanted to.

"You didn't have to buy me a car on top of the apartment." She sobbed.

"Your brother and me both were in on it. And yes, I did have to. I can't let you walk everywhere or try to kill yourself on my bike."

"Oh, thank you so much, Rachel."

"I love you."


	4. Secrets

A few weeks had passed, Jessica and I settled in, she found a job right away, and I was left with the feeling of something eating away at my me. I had no income to speak of, and it was hard to sneak away in the evening to enter a street race like I had done before. Our money situation wasn't in the red whatsoever, but my own account was starting to suffer after several major purchases as well as the smaller ones that all added up.

My mind kept wandering back to the score I took part in weeks ago, but I had no way to contact L or anyone. Somehow I found myself riding over to the abandoned workshop with a sliver of hope that someone was there. Beyond that, I had nothing planned out. Only money was on my mind.

I walked up the stairs to find no one in existence. I casually strolled around before making my way to the office where I had been briefed before. Perhaps I could find something in there; a full name, an address, a number, anything. I shuffled around some papers before hunching over a box of documents.

"What do you think you're doing?"

I turned around to see L aiming a pistol at me. My hands shot up in surrender and and overwhelming rush of panic went through my body.

"I was looking for something to contact someone."

"I told you we'd be in contact with you if we needed you."

"I know, but I need some money, quick, and I didn't know where else to go."

L lowered the pistol and I slowly lowered my hands. I was feeling very unsafe and regretted coming here. L walked around the room to a chair while I stood frozen to the ground like a statue.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked.

"I've been monitoring your phone's gps signal, in case you went to the cops, or came back here." He stared. "Unfortunately there's nothing I can do to help you. Play the stock market, get a job. You're young, beautiful, and smart, you can do anything."

I scoffed at his statement. Perhaps I could do anything, I just never set my heart and mind to anything solid. But I also didn't want to be just another working-class-til-I-die sort of person.

"Are there any, like, odd jobs here or there that could pay me well?"

"Okay, what is this really about?" L glared at me.

As I occasionally do, I blurted out my addiction for fast cars and the adrenaline rush, followed by the mention of my girlfriend and the prohibition from me to enjoy the rush, or rather that I'd prefer to keep it a secret in addition to the money, or lack of, in my account. I explained how a normal job is very off putting, though being a criminal wasn't much of a step up the ladder.

"So you just want easy money." L stated.

I nodded my head and silence followed. L paced around for a moment, presumably thinking.

"I'll make some calls to see if anyone in the crew could find a use for you."

"Oh, thank you so much! I really appreciate it."

L waved his hand as if it was no big deal, and maybe for him it really wasn't. As I was about to take my leave, I wondered how I'd contact him.

"Fine. I'll add my number to your phone, but you will not call me unless it's for emergencies, which should be never. I will be in contact with you."

I nodded, "Got it."

Finally, I had a name for him; Lester. I escorted myself out of the building with a smile on my face. Hopefully in a few days time I would have some sort of job to hold off Jessica's suspicion and to stop me from lying to her any further. If she ever found out, I don't know how she would react. I know it's not good to lie to your partner but nothing I was doing was particularly hurting her directly. And besides, everything was pretty shady in Los Santos.


	5. The Slip

"Unless you know how to use a gun, I can't help you."

"Guns aren't my thing. Just cars."

"Sorry, I wish I could help. If you're in the area some time, why don't you stop by?"

"Thanks, Franklin."

I sighed after ending the call. So far Franklin was the only one to call me, and it was for bad news. He was nice enough to give me his first name, and invited me over. I doubted I'd ever be in the area, but the thought was kind. Maybe he could show me and Jessica around sometime. Franklin seemed like a nice guy wrapped up in the wrong things, like me.

"Rachel."

My diabetes in a to-go cup was finally ready. I had placed my order at Bean Machine before I even received the call from Franklin. Not many people were around, but they sure as hell were slow. I needed a pick me up before I rode back across town to sit in my apartment and do nothing but watch tv. Sometimes not having a daily job was boring.

My bike was parked a little down the road, so I decided to start walking as I tried to sip on my scalding drink. Of course, as I turned to go, I bumped into a person and spilled most of my hot beverage on both of us.

"Ow fuck!" I swore trying not to be loud.

"Hey, watch where you're going." A familiar angry voice spat. "Rachel?"

I looked up at the mention of my name, momentarily forgetting the burning sensation on my chest. Before me stood the man I only knew as M, looking mad yet surprised. Bumping into him was a total coincidence and entirely weird.

"I'm sorry, M. I didn't mean to bump into you. I didn't even know you were there."

"Can I get the usual, and make it quick." M placed an order before he confronted me, "You're lucky it was me and not someone else."

"Again, I'm really sorry."

"We look like shit." He stated. "You look like my daughter's size, why don't you come over and get cleaned up?"

"I was actually going to head home."

"Come on, I live right around the corner. Won't be long."

Somehow he convinced me and I was to follow over on my bike. His words were true, he was right around the corner. My shirt began to feel cold as the coffee cooled and it stuck to my skin as I rode over. When I pulled into the driveway I was completely awestruck. M's house was something I could only ever dream of owning. It belonged on the cover of a magazine I would normally not be able to afford.

"Here's you shit, honey."

"Michael, who is this? Another whore? In front of me? Really?"

My mouth dropped at the woman's words and Michael laughed, "This is Rachel. We've worked together before. As you can see we had a run in and I thought I'd be the man you'd want me to be and invite her over to clean up."

"Oh, I'm sorry." The woman, who I assumed was his wife, looked embarrassed.

I could feel some sort of awkward tension in the room, even after the conversation. Michael led me upstairs and knocked on the first door at the top.

"Tracey, do me a favor and lend me one of your shirts."

"You can't wear my clothes, dad. That's weird." A nasally voice responded.

"It's not for me." Michael sighed.

I took a step into view of the girl and waved. She appeared to be younger than me, but only by a few years. Her facial expression went from annoyed to concern as she looked at me.

"Oh my god what happened to you?" She grabbed me by the hands and pulled me in her room.

I could hear Michael laugh as he let me be dragged into a pink hell. Not only did Tracey lend me a clean shirt, but also did my hair and makeup, although I tried to tell her it was pointless when I wore a helmet and would be in bed in a few hours. I hadn't even realized how much time had passed until Michael's wife knocked on Tracey's door.

"Rachel, I'm sorry about earlier so I made dinner and would like it if you would eat with us before you go."

I tried to back out of her offer, but Tracey led me downstairs before I could say a word. Dinner smelled lovely and I realized I was actually starving.

"Thank you for dinner Mrs..."

"Amanda De Santa. And you're welcome. I see you've already met Tracey. Where the hell is Jimmy?"

"Calm down, mom, I'm right here."

A heftier guy rounded the corner and stopped in his tracks as he saw me, "Are you one of Tracey's new friends?"

"Honey, be nice. She works with your father."

"Finally a cute girl and she has to work with dad. That's too weird."

"Sorry, but I have a girlfriend anyways."


	6. Just Business

I hadn't realized I blurted things out again until all eyes were on me. Jimmy was the first to make a move by sighing as he grabbed a plate. I could tell he was even more disappointed with that news. Michael sat next to me at the table and wished me the best. To beat the now awkward silence, Amanda asked what all I actually did.

"I like to race cars, which is how I got involved with Michael. Besides that, I don't have a job, which I wanted to ask you about," I turned to Michael.

He gave me a glance over before I continued, "I need some source of income and Lester said he'd try to contact everyone about it."

"He did and I can't help you. I've already got a maid and a lawn keeper. We don't need anyone else. Try asking Frank."

"I already spoke to him earlier with no luck. I guess now I hope Trevor can contact me with something to do."

Amanda choked, "Trevor?"

"Don't talk to Trevor." Michael said.

"What's wrong with uncle T?" Tracey whined.

"Everything." Michael replied. "Listen, just don't get involved with him."

The general negativity from the mention of Trevor only made me more curious. Although he seemed a little too interested in me before, if he had a job I would take it. I needed it.

Besides that, dinner was great and I thanked the family once again for being so hospitable with me. It was already quite late and I figured Jessica would already be home. I felt guilty for eating without her, but I would make it up by making her dinner as soon as I got home. The curls Tracey had put in my hair had deflated under my helmet, though my makeup stayed intact.

"You're home finally." Jessica said when I walked in.

"Sorry, I got caught up at a friends house."

"What kind of friend?"

"Well, more of a coworker. His daughter did my hair and makeup."

"You just went over to some random coworker's house and their daughter plays dress up with you?"

"I was only there for business."

"Business that makes you come home like this?"

I could tell she was angry and thinking the worst of things possible.

"Babe, it was just business. I spilled coffee on myself and my coworker's daughter kinda went overboard. Nothing else happened." I insisted.

Jessica seemed to doubt my words but I forced the thought of food into her head instead to calm her down. Her mood changed as I began to make a quick and easy dinner just for her. While she ate, I rested my head on her lap while we watched tv. Perhaps it wasn't perfect, but it was a good way to end the night in my opinion. Jessica eventually dragged my sleepy body to bed, where I cuddled up to her before passing out.

In the morning she was gone like usual. In the kitchen there was a note taped to the fridge and I knew it wasn't there last night when I cooked.

Rachel, I'm sorry about my attitude last night, but you could've at least called. I'll bring home dinner tonight as a treat, and apology. Love you, Jess-

I was thankful for her note so I didn't have to worry about her brooding over me all day. If she wanted to make this better by buying takeout, I was okay with that, but I felt like it was my job to treat her to things after a stupid move like last night. Perhaps a day out to the beach was in store. After all, we met there months ago so it was full of good memories.

With nothing to do for the bulk of the day, I spent most of the time cleaning what little messes existed before bringing a bucket and soap down to the car park to wash my bike. The red finally shone bright again as if it were brand new. It was tempting to take it out for a spin and show it off, but that would only accumulate dirt and dust I just got done scrubbing off.

I wanted to take Jessica on a ride with it, but she didn't enjoy it like I did. I especially enjoyed her arms wrapped tightly around my torso, seeing as how that was as close as we ever really got. Although she broke her religion by dating another female, she continued to follow what she could and that meant no sexual interactions. Though that also meant I didn't have to worry about her cheating on me. Jessica was a perfect human being and I was lucky to be able to call her my partner.

She came through the doorway that night with a bag from Burger Shot and my eyes lit up like a kid's on Christmas morning. Since moving in together, we tried to eat real meals and not fake fast food all the time. But as Jessica wrote earlier, this was a treat, and an apology. It may have been cheap, but she knew it was my favorite.

"So," I began with half a burger in my mouth, "I've been thinking."

"About what?"

"We should go to the beach this weekend."

Jessica gasped and a smile crossed her face, "Oh, Rachel! That's so sweet you thought of that since we met on the beach and Saturday is out ninth anniversary."

I had totally forgotten, "That's exactly why I brought it up. We don't have to do gifts since we've worked so hard for all this."

She smiled, "I love it, and I love you."

"I love you too."


	7. Nine months

Jessica looked amazing no matter how much or how little clothes she wore. I wasn't a sex freak, but I admired her body. For a Korean, her skin wasn't too pale or too dark, and the faint image of abs could be seen. She was tall and skinny, with long, flowing brunette hair. Today she donned a white swim suit with large purple flowers, a sun hat, and large shades with her perfect white smile. Jessica was the epitome of a goddess.

In comparison, I ranked at maybe a 6 or 7. I was shorter with a little extra meat on my thighs and tummy. My darker than brown hair was tied up in a messy bun while I wore a solid red bathing suit with aviators. Standing next to Jess, I probably looked like the ugly friend. Some days it still surprised me that Jessica even accepted my date offer nine months ago.

We took her Issi to the beach with the top down. It was nice to not be the one driving for once, and the radio played all our favorite songs. We parked near the shops on the south side of the beach to be more secluded, although we were going to walk to the pier later. We had all day to spend on the beach, so we were in no rush.

The only thing that bothered me was how immune Jessica was to the stares from the men that walked by us. They looked at her like they were mentally undressing her and it made me sick. Part of me wanted to fight them, but I had to push that urge away. Today was about us.

We walked by the outdoor gym area and a figure caught my eye. "Franklin?"

He stopped his workout and looked over at me, "Whassup Rachel."

"What are you doing here?" Dumb question I realized.

"Just working out. What are you doing here?"

I pointed to Jess, "We're spending our day on the beach together."

"Hey, girl. I'm Franklin. Me and Rachel, uh, work together." He held out a hand toward Jess.

"I'm Rachel's girlfriend, Jessica."

"Are you guys having a girl's day out or something?"

"Actually, it's our nine month anniversary."

"Oh, I didn't realize you meant actual girlfriend. Congrats though."

"Thanks." Jess said with a smile.

I could see Franklin's smile fade after that and didn't want to cause any other problems or awkwardness for either of us, so we said goodbye and parted ways. Jessica picked a spot on the beach and we laid in the sun before taking a dip in the cool water. Many people were out today and the beach was packed. Jet skis and boats loitered the ocean along with the people that were everywhere.

We waited until after the lunch rush to walk to the pier and order hot dogs. After eating, Jess begged me to ride the Ferris wheel with her even though she knew my fear of heights. Eventually I got on, and our slow crawl to the top began. I prayed we wouldn't get stopped at the top, but of course, we did. I did enjoy being close to Jessica during this time, and she even kissed me to calm me down. She usually wasn't a fan of public affection, but then again we were in a confined space at the top of a Ferris wheel. Jess took a millionth picture today of us for her LifeInvader page. Shortly after, our pristine moment was interrupted by my phone ringing in our beach bag.

"Hello?"

"Is this a bad time?" Michael's voice asked.

"No." I lied.

I wondered if maybe he found a job for me after all. That would be great news.

"Tracey keeps bothering me about you. I didn't give her your number because I didn't think you'd want that, but she asked me to invite you over for dinner tonight."

"Sorry, Michael. I'm with my girlfriend today. It's our nine month anniversary."

"Shit, congrats, kid. I'll let Tracey know. Have a good time."

"Thanks. Bye."

"Who was that?" Jess asked immediately.

"My coworker. But don't worry, today is about us."

"Thanks, Rachel."

"Why don't we go shopping when we get to the bottom?" I asked to change the topic back to us.

Several hours and $52 later, we finally made it back home. My skin had darkened from the intense sunlight all day and I knew I'd be feeling a sting in the morning. Jessica still radiated with beauty. While she showered off the ocean water, I wondered if maybe tonight we'd be able to take things a step further. I loved her and respected her religious views, but I don't know how she remained a pure child of light for so long.

While she showered, I sat on our bed and listened to her lovely voice as she sang something in Korean. She told me she used to be in a group of other girls and they would sing for local events. Knowing her this long, she even taught me a few words and phrases, though not nearly enough to even be slightly fluent.

Jessica stepped out of the bathroom with a towel around her torso, her long hair clinging to her skin, "Oh, Rachel. I didn't know you were in here."

When she went to the closet I got up and out my arms on either side of her. She turned to look at me and I planted my lips on hers. My hands went to her toweled sides as our tongues got involved. With a gentle tug on the towel, I moved my kiss to her neck then collarbones, lightly biting her soft skin.

"Rachel, you know I can't." She breathed.

"You're already with me." I said between kisses.

"Rachel," She grabbed my wrists, looking me in the eye, "I've already sinned enough. I have to remain loyal to God."

I sighed and took a step away. It was the same thing every time I tried to initiate something.

"Please don't be mad at me." She frowned.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at your God."

It got a small smile out of her, which was what I hoped for.

"Saranghae, Rachel."


	8. A Trip

Monday morning I woke up at a painful hour with Jessica just because. Together we ate cereal, though I was still half asleep and barely getting the spoon to my mouth.

"Rach, go back to bed." Jessica smiled.

"I'll sleep when I'm dead." I mumbled.

To almost knock me out of my chair, my phone rang next to me, playing a tune only for unknown numbers.

"Are you going to answer that?" Jess asked.

"I don't know who it is. If it's important they'll keep calling."

My phone went silent and Jess finished her cereal, "I gotta go now."

"Have a good day at work." I called.

Within seconds my head was bobbing as I nodded in and out of sleep again. As if on a cue, my phone rang again playing the same tune from moments ago.

"Who is this?" I groaned.

"I-is this Rachel?"

"Yes, who am I speaking to?" I huffed.

"M-m name is Ron. I'm a friend of Trevor's." The man sounded unusually nervous.

"Okay. How did you get my number?"

"Uh, Trevor told me to call you. I don't know where he got it."

"Alright, so what do you, or Trevor, want? I wanna go back to bed."

"Oh, um. Well Trevor wanted to invite you out here to Sandy Shores so he could talk business with you."

"Why didn't he just call me?"

"He, um, passed out when he got home."

Although what this man was saying made sense, it also didn't and confused me on top of my tired state.

"Okay. I guess I could drive there." I scratched my head. "When?"

"He said today would work. Or tomorrow. Really any day will work."

"Well I'm not really busy so I suppose I could come today."

"Oh good. I'll have him call you when he wakes up."

After the call I went back to bed for three hours. As I showered, I realized this would be a long day if I wanted to drive there and back, assuming it would be quick. With a quick search for a motel in the area, I opted to stay a night in Sandy Shores. Before I packed a small bag of things, I sent Jessica a quick message.

That call from earlier was a call about the business. We have an urgent meeting out of town tonight so I won't see you til tomorrow. I'll be staying at a motel.

I hope everything goes well. Be safe and call me tonight, okay?

I made a mental note to call her as I grabbed the last of my things and went down to my bike. With the crack of my neck and fingers, I was off for the long drive. Traffic wasn't too terrible, but it took me an hour to get across the city and onto the freeway.

With another hour, I made a pit stop at a gas station in Tatavium Mountains. I leaned against my bike eating a bag of chips when I heard my phone go off in my bike's saddle.

"I hear you're on your way over here."

"Yeah. I'll be dropping a bag of my things off at a motel, so you can meet me there if that's easier? I don't really know where I'm going."

"You don't need to go to that shithole."

"I'm not going to truck it back to Little Seoul in the middle of the night and have a sore ass when I get back home. So yes, I am."

"Fine. I'll meet you there." Trevor huffed.

In a few more hours, I made my way into dusty ol Sandy Shores. I stopped to check my gps to the motel, which looked like it was run down. My room smelled like mold and alcohol and I frowned in disgust. I waited outside for Trevor, who eventually showed up in a dusty, red Bodhi. The sun was already starting to go down and I wondered how long things would take.

"Hey, sweet cheeks. Hop in. You hungry?"

"Haven't ate since lunch, which was a bag of chips."

"How does pizza sound?"

"Delicious."

We stopped for pizza and the idea of any job offers was thrown out the window. We ate like beasts and decided to head back to Trevor's to discuss work. I was excited. 


	9. Taking Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, when I decided to write this I actually started with only this chapter

"Not these fuck asses again."

I was about to ask who the so called fuck asses were, but a bullet whizzed by the side of the truck followed by several more, many of them making a plink as they connected with the metal frame.

"What the fuck is happening." I nearly yelled.

"Sit tight sweetheart, things are gonna get bumpy."

I grabbed the frame of the truck for support just as Trevor took a sharp turn off of the beaten road. I smiled as the rush of adrenaline encompassed my body, reminding me of the life I craved. Trevor swiftly leaned over to open the glove compartment and revealed a shiny pistol, making my heart race.

"You're going to shoot them? While driving?"

"Might wanna put your seatbelt on and stay low."

"Fuck that."

Trevor looked over at me due to my sudden use of foul language but couldn't utter a word as I managed to situate myself in his lap, taking over the vehicle.

"Doll face, now is not the best time to turn me on."

"Will you just fucking shoot?" My shrill voice made its appearance.

I heard the gun go off several times and Trevor's maniacal laughter as I maneuvered my way through the desert. Even though we were in a truck and not a stolen, high priced sports car, it was easy to get a feel for the vehicle. With the bumps and adrenaline rushing through me, I barely noticed Trevor's hard on underneath me.

"Fuck off!" Trevor yelled with clear rage.

I kept up with the fast speed until I felt wandering hands run along my hips, breaking me out of my rush for the need for speed. When the feel of his now blatantly obvious boner was thrust into my my backside, I had enough.

"Trevor, stop."

"You're a tease."

As I tried to return my place to the passenger seat, I felt his hands, warm through my jeans, hold me down. I wasn't about to be his toy to play with, and managed to shove his hands off of me before shimmying into the seat next to him.

"Why don't you and me go back to my place?" Trevor tried.

"You know, I have a girlfriend. I also never agreed to any of this. Who were those guys?"

I looked back at the dust still waiting to settle from my driving. The people trying to shoot us were long gone, and I hoped not all from Trevor's pistol.

"Just a bike gang that wants me dead. Nice driving by the way. So where'd you learn to drive like that?"

Spilling the details of my life to a near stranger was not something I planned on doing, although I suppose I had already done that with Lester. I didn't want to be as hooked on the adrenaline rush like I had been.

"All I did was take control of the wheel to lose those guys."

"I can smell a lie when I hear it. You drove like this for the score too." Trevor roared.

I shrugged. There was nothing I could say.

"I'll get it out of you some day." He pointed at me with a smile. "Why don't we go get some drinks and forget about those bikers."

"It's getting late…"

"It's not even midnight you party pooper."

Me and Jess usually went to bed together around 10 so she could get enough sleep for work. My body had gotten so used to that schedule that anything much later drained me. But seeing as Trevor was driving and I now had no idea where we were in the desert, I couldn't really complain. As long as I made it back to the motel at some point tonight, I would be satisfied.

Within an hour, I remembered why me and Jessica never drank much, if not anything ever; we were lightweights. My tiredness coupled with being smashed had me slumped over at the bar nodding off while the room spun around me.

"Time to get you home, you lightweight."

Trevor's voice sounded distant although his hands wrapped around my frame to carry me to his truck. After that, I blanked out and could only hope something bad wasn't going to happen.


	10. All Men Are Pigs

I woke up with the room spinning, making me instantly nauseous. My eyesight was still clouded, but I scooted off the bed and found a bathroom right outside the bedroom door. I coughed a few times before the contents of my stomach hurled their way up my throat and into the toilet. During some point, my hair was pulled back and a hand lightly massaged my back. After flushing, I took a moment and rested my head on the seat with my eyes closed.

"Feel better, princess?"

Trevor.

My eyes shot open, "What are you doing here?"

"This is my trailer."

"What?" I was confused.

"I thought you'd be safer here than at that shitty motel."

I finally looked around to see that I was indeed not in my motel room. This bathroom was absolutely disgusting and I felt nauseous again. Looking down at myself, I noticed my jeans from last night had disappeared and I was left in my boy short underwear.

"Can I have some water?"

My throat burned after regurgitation and my lips were chapped, probably from the desert heat. Trevor left and came back a moment later with a red solo cup of water. I remained on the floor, not sure if my body could handle any major movements yet.

"If you can get dressed, I'll take you out for lunch." Trevor said.

"What time is it?"

"Almost one."

He held a hand out to help me up and I took it. At first I was unsteady on my feet and held onto him until I could stand by myself. He urged me back in the bedroom to get dressed so we could go. I noticed my jeans sitting folded at the end of the bed. Finally, all the questions were coming to me, and I wanted answers.

"Why the hell were my jeans not on my body?" I stomped into the main part of the trailer.

"I just know from experience that sleeping in jeans sucks. Thought I'd be a kind host while you were here."

"So you took them off me? When I was drunk?"

"I only suggested it, you took them off."

I couldn't recall anything after the bar, but it was, in the tiniest of ways, possible that I did indeed do that on my own. I just didn't want to believe him.

"Sweetheart, I'm starving. Can we go now?"

I nodded, realizing I was starving too. My body felt drained still and all I needed was some TLC, preferably from Jessica. As Trevor drove to some restaurant, I checked my phone to see several missed messages and a voicemail from Jess. She thought I was really at a business meeting and I felt terrible for lying to her.

When will you be home, one message read.

Tonight, I promise.

"Let'a eat!" Trevor shouted as we pulled up to a stop by a building in shambles.

The restaurant itself was small but not busy, and had a sense of homeliness to it. After ordering food, I needed more answers and continued to question Trevor.

"If I slept in your bed, where were you?"

"I was on the couch like a good boy, though you're very hard to resist cuddling."

I rolled my eyes at his statement.

"Trevor, I'm gay. I have a girlfriend."

"I don't believe it." Chimed Trevor.

"I live with my girlfriend. Ask Michael or Franklin or even Lester; they all know."

My angry side began to show and I could see Trevor's demeanor also change.

"What man hurt you to make you think you're a lesbian? I'll show him."

"No one, Trevor. This was all my choice."

"Baby, give me a chance and I can change your mind."

I sighed, "It doesn't work like that. Are you going to tell me about these 'opportunities' you have for me or not?"

Trevor leaned back in his chair to quell his anger before speaking again, "You said you wanted easy money, right?"

"Yeah. Anything that will put a weekly paycheck into my account will work."

"You could work for me."

I scoffed, "What?"

"At the strip club. I'd love to see you with nothing on." He eyed me up and down.

"You're a fucking pig." I spat.

"Ooh, I hit a nerve." He smirked.

I wanted to rip his face clean off, but it took all my willpower to remain even somewhat civil to not get thrown out before our lunch was delivered to us.

"I'm going to eat, then you're taking me back to the motel so I can leave."

"Aw come on."

I gave him the cold shoulder, and took it up a notch by bringing out my cell, boring myself by looking at LifeInvader.

"Fucking shit. Fine then." Trevor gave up, opting to cross his arms over his chest.

We ate in a deafening silence. Then the drive to the motel screamed at me. Trevor remained in a parking spot and watched me as I went from his truck to my unused room, then onto my bike.

"Rachel, I'm sorry, okay?"

"See you 'round, Trevor." I waved before taking off.

I'm sure I heard him yell in frustration as I pulled onto the main road. For some reason, it made me smile. Whatever the reason, I wanted to leave it, and everything else, behind in Sandy Shores.


	11. Worry

I should've listened to you, I texted.

Michael replied, about what?

Trevor.

My simple response offered me no reply. Instead a call came through.

"What the fuck did he do." Michael sighed.

I laughed, "I woke up on his bed in my underwear."

"What the fuck are you doing in Sandy Shores?"

"He said he had a business proposition. I didn't know that meant working at the strip club."

"I could've told you that." Michael interjected.

"Instead you just said no and left me to waste my time coming here."

"Don't get so heated. You could've just listened to me and nothing would've happened."

"And you could've been a good friend and explained things to me."

"Look, I'm sorry. Alright? What's done is done though."

"Yeah, I guess." I huffed.

"Why don't you and your girlfriend come over and we can talk about whatever you want."

"You're inviting us over?"

"Sure, it'll be a little party."

"A party for what?"

"You ask a lot of questions." Michael said. "It'll be a pool party this weekend. Sound good?"

"Sure."

At least I had something to look forward to after an awkward night in Sandy Shores. I hopped back on my bike and continued my way back to Los Santos.

  
"Rachel you're home!" Jessica smiled.

"And you're home early!" I pointed out.

"You didn't call me so I worried."

"Babe, I'm fine. I just got caught up in things."

"How did the meeting go?"

I flopped on the couch, "It was pointless. And my butt hurts from sitting on my bike for so long."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Jess said lightly as she began to rub my back.

"Good news, though, my coworker invited us over this weekend for a pool party."

"Us?"

"You and me. Maybe some other people, I'm not sure. Do you want to go?"

"I'd love to." She smiled. "Now why don't you go clean up a bit and I'll make dinner. You look, well…bad."

I laughed at her honesty as I got up to finally look at myself in the bathroom mirror. Jessica wasn't wrong, either. My hair was not only messy from my helmet but also from neglecting to brush it this morning, or afternoon. Overall, I felt dirty, and decided taking a quick shower would be a good idea.

When I stepped out, I could smell something delicious from in the kitchen. Eating so much pizza and a greasy breakfast made me realize how much I really loved Jessica's cooking. She served me a plate full of stir fry and I took no time in scarfing it all down and allowing myself to have seconds. To follow dinner, we sat on the couch together; I watched an episode of Impotent Rage while Jess used her computer.

I smiled. Everything so far had worked out nicely for us, including us. While thinking about all the nice things that have happened, one of the not so nice ones decided to text me at such a late hour. I hadn't realized Jessica had nodded off until she jumped at the sound of my phone.

plz cum back ovr bby

I blinked at my screen in confusion. Was I talking to a child?

No.

ur more fun when ur drunk

And you're disgusting.

"Rach, can we go to bed? I'm tired."

"Me too. Let's go."

I shut Jessica's computer off as she sleep-walked to the bedroom. She barely changed into pajamas before falling asleep immediately. As I changed out of my clothes, my phone went off, again, in the living room.

"Rach, make it stop." Jess whined.

"Sorry. Go to sleep babe."

im gunna call u

I rolled my eyes as I read the text but sure enough Trevor was calling me seconds later.

"What do you want?" I said in a harsh whisper.

"Doll face, I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you so much."

"Trevor are you drunk?"

"When am I not?" He laughed.

"Trevor, we're trying to sleep. Can you please stop calling and texting me?"

"No, no, no, no, no, wait! Don't hang up!"

"Why not?" I questioned.

"You're voice is so pretty. Just like your body."

"Goodnight Trevor."

I immediately turned my phone off. I didn't need any more drunk calls from him in the middle of the night, especially if he was going to talk like that.

I finally crawled my way into bed with Jessica who was already lightly snoring. She must've stayed up the other night worrying too much about me. I smiled; how sweet.


	12. Three's A Party

Get them something nice, she said. It's like a housewarming gift for inviting us over.

There was probably nothing under the sun that Michael didn't already own or want. Anything I would buy, he could buy but ten times better. Nothing I'd pick would really be a surprise, either. I ended up purchasing the most expensive bottle of wine in the store, hoping it would taste good.

After Jessica was done with work today, we were heading over to Michael and Amanda's house for the pool party. Jess would be home in about an hour, shaving a few hours off the end of her usual schedule.

She ran inside to grab some things and change before passing me her keys. She insisted it would be easier if I drove there, especially in her car. Oh how I wanted to burn out and do at least 90 on the busy roads, but I held myself back. Not with Jessica, I repeated in my head.

With only a few wrong turns, we finally made it. I could hear the gasp from Jessica as we pulled in the driveway. She was probably thinking the same thing I had when I first came here. Music was playing from out back so I took Jessica's hand and followed it.

"Rachel, hey!" Michael waved us over.

"Are we late?" I asked.

"Early actually. I invited Frank but he's not here yet."

"Oh," I remembered. "This is Jessica. Jess this is Michael."

Michael pointed out the members of his family and Tracey's dumb friends to Jess while I pulled out the gift I bought earlier.

"You didn't have to do this." Michael said.

"Well someone told me to." I eyed Jess.

"I just thought it would be a nice thank you for inviting us." She smiled.

"Well, I appreciate it. Why don't you guys go have fun. I'll chill this so we can have it later."

Jessica followed me to the poolside where Jimmy sat under an umbrella texting and Amanda laid in the sun.

"Another cute girl?" Jimmy spoke as his eyes darted to us.

"This is my girlfriend, Jessica."

"Dammit." Jimmy huffed.

"It's nice to meet you." Amanda said.

Barely after introductions, Tracey came running over, introducing herself then complimenting Jess. They got wrapped up in a conversation so I slipped back over to Michael.

"So who's all coming to this party?" I snickered.

Michael handed me a beer, "Okay, so maybe it's not exactly a party. If Frank comes I think he might bring his friend Lamar and his dog."

"Please tell me Trevor isn't invited."

"Oh fuck no."

"Good. He won't stop calling and texting me."

"Do I need to talk to him?"

I scoffed, "What are you, my dad?"

"I'm old enough to be."

"You're not old, Michael."

Michael opened his mouth to probably refuse what I said, but Franklin and who I assumed to be Lamar walked up.

"Damn, baby, how you doin'?"

"Fuck, Lamar. I told you she's got a girlfriend."

"That only makes her hotter."

I rolled my eyes. Another pig.

"I'm sorry for my asshole friend." Franklin said to me as Lamar followed Michael to get some beer.

"I'm sorta used to it. Is this your dog?"

"Basically. Name's Chop."

"Hey boy." I said in my special voice for dogs only as I crouched down to his level.

"How long have you been here?"

"Long enough for Tracey to steal my girlfriend." I looked over my shoulder to see a bunch of people in the pool playing volleyball.

"Hey Frank come help me grill some franks." Michael dryly laughed.

"That ain't funny, dog."

After finally taking a dip in the pool and eating some hotdogs, Jimmy went to his room and Tracey with her friends, leaving us 'adults' alone. Michael cracked open the wine I brought and passed everyone a glass.

"This some fancy ass shit, damn." Lamar said.

"It's really good!" Amanda told me.

"Can I get a picture of us for my LifeInvader page?" Jess spoke up.

I realized she probably wanted to show her parents she was having a good time and doing well here in Los Santos. Lamar agreed to take a picture of all of us since he didn't want to be in it.

Soon, the fun night out came to an end. Jess thanked Michael and Amanda for inviting us over and let me drive her home. Even with only a little alcohol in her system she was starting to fall asleep and I laughed. Even at a late time like this, the roads were still busy, but we made it home eventually. I couldn't wait to do more fun things with Jessica.


	13. Stunt Jumps

My days of doing nothing soon bored me. Instead of constantly sitting around home, I spent a good portion of my day driving around on my bike, finding nice places to get a drink or to just enjoy the moment.

At this moment, I pulled up to the little park by our apartment. Since moving in, neither me nor Jessica has come here, and it was rather nice.

I was taking my helmet off when I heard a voice, "Hey lady, nice bike."

Turning around I saw a group of guys, maybe high school age, on some bmx bikes basically swooning over my bike.

"Thanks." I smiled.

"Do you do any tricks or jumps on it?"

I slowly shook my head, not entirely understanding what they were intending to mean.

"See that pagoda thing?" One guy pointed to the structure I was very familiar with. "If you hit the ramp fast enough it's a stunt jump."

"Seems kinda dangerous." I pointed out.

"You look scared." One taunted.

"There's jumps all over the city if you know where to look." Another said.

My eyes went back and forth from them to the hidden jump. That feeling I got when I raced started to bubble in my gut. Without even thinking, my helmet was back on and I rode around the corner to put some distance between me and the jump. When the coast was as clear as it would get, I sped down the road, ignoring all street markers and barely noticing the several sets of eyes watching me. The rush of adrenaline ran through my veins and I was ready for this.

I felt the tires connect with the ramp, then I was airborne. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as my bike flew across the road beneath me. Once gravity began to work again, almost impossibly it seemed, my bike connected with the ground again. The sounds of whoops and hollers were heard as I skidded to a stop.

"Damn you're like a pro. And you've never done that before?" One guy asked as I drove back.

"I do race cars, or at least, I used to."

"That's awesome. Can I be your friend in LifeInvader?"

"Oh, me too!"

I wasn't a celebrity, but I sure felt like one. Although, instead of signing my autograph on something, I was handed cell phones one by one to add myself as their friend of LifeInvader.

"You have to tell me where more of those jumps are at."

They named some off the tops of their heads, but I wasn't very familiar with most locations they gave me. They offered to message me locations when they remembered, so I was off in search for more. But first, I needed some food.

A stop at the convenience store allowed me to buy a can of Sprunk and some snacks to satisfy by not fulfill my hunger needs. I sat along the curb, watching as people came and go. My phone vibrated with a message from one of the kids I met, sending me a tiny map with locations marked for Elysian Island, so that's where I'd go first. While still in my hands, my phone vibrated again, this time with a call from the one and only, Trevor.

"What do you want?" I answered.

"Why so mean, sweetheart? I thought I'd let you know I'm in LS for a while so we could hang out or something."

"No thanks, I'm a little busy. Bye Trevor." I always had to end the call before he kept talking.

My trip to Elysian Island didn't take as long as I suspected. There were only a few workers around so I would hopefully not be a bother. I was just seeking a thrill.

Two stunt jumps and two successful landing on the roofs later, the rush had entirely engulfed me and I wanted more. Another jump existed close to the others. The goal was to land on the on off ramp, and I didn't hesitate to head for it.

With every success, there is a failure, and when I hit this jump, I knew I was going to fail. I thought I had enough speed, but my calculation was off. I missed the ramp by a long shot, barely registering I was about to collide with a wall. Perhaps more poor judgement made me jump off my bike in order not to burn or seriously hurt myself while on it, although I wouldn't be walking away without scars this time. My body hit the wall above a graffiti x and I fell to the rocky ground. The rush of adrenaline was still running in my body, I hardly felt any pain, although I was sure I fractured something when I connected with the wall.

I quickly found I was unable to move and I started to come down from the rush. My vision began to fail me so I quickly pulled out my phone. I didn't want to call an ambulance since I didn't think it was that bad. I rang up Michael, then Franklin, both not answering. Before I drifted out of consciousness I called Trevor, hoping for an answer.

"Did you change you mind?" I barely heard him ask.

"Help me…"

My eyes closed for good, still on the line with Trevor. I could only hope he heard me.


	14. The Aftermath

As I came to, the smell of bleach invaded my nostrils and a beeping sounded next to me. The stark white of a room appeared as my eyes finally opened. I looked down and noticed two things; the first was my body wrapped in white, the second was the familiar balding head of Trevor's sleeping on the uncomfortable bed I lay upon. It was easy to understand I was in a hospital room and I remembered my accident. My hand drifted to Trevor's head and I let myself run my fingers through his hair, stirring him.

"Oh, you're awake." He rubbed his eyes.

"You came." I whispered.

"Of course I did. I didn't know where you were so Lester tracked your phone. What happened?" For once Trevor looked completely serious and concerned.

"I tried hitting a jump. Not enough speed."

"Why the hell would you do that?"

"For the rush." I smiled weakly.

"Rachel Cooley." A doctor walked in, interrupting our conversation. "Looks like you took a major hit. Your shoulder had to be put back in place and you suffered from a mild concussion. I'm not sure what all happened, but you will experience some bad bruising on your right side in addition to the cuts. You got off lucky this time. Your boyfriend can escort you out whenever you're ready."

I didn't even have the strength to correct the doctor. Trevor must've told him some lies about us earlier. A nurse came in and unhooked the wires from me before placing my clothes on the bedside table. After shooing Trevor out of the tiny room, I looked at my bruises and cuts, being extremely gentle as I clothed myself.

"Where are we?" I asked as I exited the room to find Trevor down the hall.

"Rachel, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Trevor. Thank you."

He handed me my phone which was now cracked and dirty. Surprisingly it still worked and I noticed several missed calls and messages, most from Jessica; then I noticed the time.

"Shit how long was I out?" The sky was dark as we left the hospital.

"You called me around 2."

"It's already almost 8."

Trevor opened the door to his truck and I paused several steps away, "Where's my bike."

"Rachel, you can't ride it anymore. It's busted." He pointed to the flatbed.

I peered inside to see the entire front end smashed, and dents and scrapes everywhere else. My baby was broken because of me and my careless mistake.

"Get in. I'll take you home."

"What about my bike?" I asked.

"Frank knows a guy. I'll drive over to his place and see what can be done."

Besides the occasional direction given by me, there was silence. Though, the silence wasn't awkward at all. My mind was filled with thoughts that seemed to be yelling at me. When Trevor pulled up along the side of my apartment, the voices stopped. My hand habitually moved to open the door, but Trevor stopped me, opening the door himself. He offered a hand and I took it, still somewhat unstable on my own two legs.

"I can go myself." I insisted, yet allowed Trevor to guide me to the elevator.

I didn't want him to meet Jessica, but he wouldn't let go. Maybe I didn't want him to let go either. He was warm compared to my chilled body, and it made me want to press myself against him.

I let us in, door unlocked. Jessica's face turned to the door, running toward me when she saw me.

"Oh my god Rachel are you okay?"

"Can I sit down?"

Now with the help of both Trevor and Jessica I was escorted to the couch.

"What happened?" Jess looked into my eyes.

"I did something stupid."

Her eyes searched my face for an answer I was reluctant to give, "I tried to hit a jump and miscalculated and crashed."

"I found her and took her to the hospital." Trevor spoke up.

Jessica had a look of extreme worry on her face.

"Jess, I'm fine."

"Do you need anything?"

"Maybe some juice or something for now."

Jess got up to enter the kitchen and Trevor took the moment to crouch down next to me.

"Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yes. You can go now. And Trevor? Thanks. A lot."

He patted my hand and showed himself out. Jessica brought me a glass of water instead, and I could see tears had fallen.

"Baby, I'm okay. Please don't cry."

I wiped away her tears and she hugged me, desperately but gently. It only made her cry more so I ended up rubbing her back to calm her down. Once she calmed down she got up and poured me a bowl of cereal. With something in my stomach now, I was ready for bed.


	15. Perfection

Jessica stayed home the next day, and two more days after that. I wasn't in that bad of a condition that I was completely helpless, but I couldn't stop Jess from worrying. She took over all the cooking and cleaning in the house. I just sat around more than I wanted to, but I couldn't go anywhere because my bike was smashed and gone.

Michael called me, almost as worried as Jess had been, the day after I came home. He told me he heard through Franklin that I had been in an accident. Of course, I explained I was really okay now. After the call, Jess noticed my almost broken phone, and took me out to buy a new one. With the luxury of money, I was able to pick the newest iFruit phone.

Four days after the accident, Jessica went back to work and I sat alone in our apartment watching reruns of Impotent Rage. Until I got a call from Trevor.

"Come downstairs."

I slipped on some kicks and exited the building for the first time in days. Trevor and Franklin stood around his truck where he had parked.

"Hey Franklin." I waved.

"Hey. You look good."

Trevor sneered at his comment before walking up behind me and covering my eyes.

"What's this all about?" I asked, waiting patiently.

After a moment, Trevor pulled away his hands and Franklin pulled a tarp off an object to reveal a bike. My bike. But better. It had a brand new paint job with chrome parts and custom wheels. But it wasn't just my old bike revamped; it was a Pegassi Bati 801, aka only the coolest bike ever.

"You guys!" I looked at them then my bike, entirely speechless.

After admiring my new bike, I ran and hugged Franklin, then Trevor. I surprised Franklin with the hug while Trevor didn't want to let go.

"How much do I owe you for this?" I asked Franklin.

"Oh no. You owe me nothing."

"Come on. This had to be special made. There's no way it's free."

"My buddy Hao hooks me up. We good girl."

"I just can't believe this."

"If you want, you could come back to my place and celebrate." Trevor tried.

"Mmm no."

"Rach, you're forgetting one thing." Franklin tossed me a key, "Start it up."

I did as I was told and turned the key. The engine revved to life with music to my ears. I was only missing one last element to the equation: a helmet. As if Franklin knew what I was thinking, he tossed me a new helmet; red to match my bike with a dragon on it. It was perfect.

"We'll catch you later homie. Drive safe this time, okay?"

"Of course."

With that, I was gone. I missed being able to ride around freely on my bike, and I loved the new upgrades. I couldn't wait to show Jessica, though she'd probably lecture me about driving safe. I was an adult, I knew to drive safe. One mistake and everyone thinks you have a death wish against yourself.

For my maiden voyage I travelled around Los Santos with no real destination in mind. It felt good to have my freedom back. After at least an hour of roaming the roads, I finally parked my baby in the garage. Jess would probably notice it when she pulled in so it wouldn't be much of a surprise to her.

The smile on my face wouldn't go away as I waited for her to get home. I had the best friends ever. While I waited, I sent out texts to Franklin and Trevor, thanking them again for the new bike.

U can still cum back 2 my house if u want, Trevor replied.

You don't give up do you?

Jess walked in with two bags full of groceries at that moment so I jumped up to help her.

"What's all this?" I asked.

"We're going to have a little party of our own in regards to you getting better."

"That's why I see soju in here." I smirked.

"I have tomorrow off, so let's have fun!"

I waited a moment before asking, "Did you see it?"

"See what?"

"The Bati in the garage."

It took only seconds for it to sink in before she was gasping in front of me, "How?"

"Franklin apparently knows a guy." I winked.

"Oh Rachel, please be careful on it."

"Yes, mom." I pouted.

Jess made a face at me before starting our dinner. I wanted to help but she refused every time. For the rest of the night we ate good food while getting drunk off of soju. We probably laughed the night away before passing out in unusual locations; Jess on the floor and me on the table. It was a perfect night though.


	16. Easy Pickings

"Do you have to go?" I whined.

"You know you could come too."

"They don't like me though."

"They could tolerate you if they can tolerate me."

"I'll feel awkward if I go. But I'll miss you if I stay."

"It'll only be two weeks." Jessica stated.

Two weeks of me being alone in Los Santos. Jessica was flying back to Korea with her brother for two weeks to visit their parents for their anniversary. Of course Jessica had asked me to come several times, but I always felt a negativity come from them during our Skype calls. It was bad enough for Jessica seeing as she wasn't the pure child they thought she was, but for me I felt like I was further down on a shit list.

The buzzer to our apartment went off and Jess grabbed her bags. Her brother was going to pick her up and drive them both to the airport. I groaned as I followed Jess out the door and waving when I saw her brother.

"Someone looks upset." He joked.

I made a face in return, making Jessica laugh. She tried to persuade me one last time to come with her but I declined.

"Don't miss your plane."

"Don't get hurt or into trouble while I'm gone!"

I rolled my eyes before waving as they drove toward the airport. I sighed. Two weeks to myself. What was I going to do? Doing anything fun would seem out of place without doing it with Jess, like seeing the Vinewood sign. I was reaching the ends of my funds so it would be a great time to do something.

I called Lester, "I don't mean to be a bother but is there anything I can do for money now? It's been a while…"

"I told you I'd call if and when I found something."

"Right, sorry."

"Call Frank. Maybe he'll rob a store with you or something."

It was a wild idea. But a seemingly easy one for money. I liked it. After ending the call with Lester, I dialed Franklin up.

"Hey girl, how's it goin'?"

"Would you be up to helping me?"

"How so?"

"Lester suggested robbing a store…"

"Woah, why don't you come over and we can talk about it instead. I'll send you my address."

It surprised me that he wasn't entirely opposed to it, but then again, we've both done worse. I hopped on my bike and drove out, occasionally checking my gps. When I came to Franklin's house, my jaw dropped. It sat atop a hill overlooking a good part of the city. It had a modern flare and it put my small apartment to shame.

"Hey, glad you could make it. Want a drink?"

I declined as my eyes roamed the vast space decorated in colors I loved. I was so envious.

"Nice place." I breathed.

"Thanks. So you wanted to do something?"

His voice brought me back to the present, "Yeah. Like I said, Lester suggested a store or something."

"You need money that bad?"

I nodded.

"I can give you some, if you need it."

I raised my hands in defense, "No, no, no. It's just, I want to make it myself, but I don't want a job."

It was embarrassing to talk about it. I hung my head in shame thinking of the lengths I was going to just to make a buck.

"Alright, I'll help."

I looked up, not sure if I heard correctly, "What?"

"I'll help you get some money. You helped us on that score, plus we're friends, right?"

"Thank you Franklin."

"You seem to know how to handle vehicles so I can go in and get the cash, and you keep the heat off us."

I nodded, "I can do that."

"Probably be better at night that way you can get a car unnoticed and fewer cops will be on duty."

Now we we're talking. I knew places I could easily get a vehicle so this already seemed like a pice of cake.

"Can we go tonight?"

"Damn, girl. I mean, I guess."

I left and within the hour I returned with a deep blue car. Again, not a sports car, but it was fast enough with me driving it. It would work. Franklin gave directions to an empty looking gas station, waiting until I pulled up as if I were getting gas before getting out. Within 30 seconds I was speeding out of there, heart racing.

Blend with the traffic. Act like nothing happened. I slowed my speed then pulled down some side streets. You need to get rid of the car. We could take a cab back to Franklin's.

We stayed quiet in the cab, aside from the loud and annoying tune the driver insisted on playing. We were dropped off a block away for precaution, but I was glad we were out of that cab. Now all I could think of was a handful of money, which helped me climb up the hill to Franklin's house.

"That was a piece of cake." Franklin said as he high fived me in his kitchen.

He handed me a beer and this time I accepted. Although I still had to drive home, I didn't think I'd get smashed on one can. Franklin pulled out the money from his pockets, counting it up before pushing it toward me.

"I can't take all this, you did most of the work."

"But you need it. Not me."

A stack of almost four thousand sat in front of me, wanting me to take it. It was weird to not be fair in what was earned, but Franklin insisted I take it all. I shoved it into my purse and decided to take my leave.

"You're just gonna leave?" Franklin asked. "Why not have another beer with me."

Another beer soon became five and before I knew it, I clocked out on Franklin.


	17. Not Planned

A warm and wet feeling focused on my face made me turn my head but to no avail. Chop's heavy breath on my neck startled me awake.

"What the fuck." I groaned as I wiped slobber off my face.

With a look around I realized this was not my home, but Franklin's. I must've passed out on the couch after drinking with him. Unlike the last time I drank, I was thankfully still fully clothed. I sat up, pulling the blanket off me while chop watched me. My head was spinning and all I could hope for was to not throw up like usual. Chop barked at me, making me jump.

"Chop will you shut the fuck up?" Franklin called from the kitchen.

With uneasy steps I made my way to the kitchen where I found Franklin eating cereal.

"Mornin'. Sorry if Chop woke you up."

"Where's your bathroom?"

My steps became hurried as I rushed to the bathroom, barely making it in time to empty my stomach's contents. I was also thankful this bathroom was clean.

"You okay?" I heard Franklin's voice on the other side of the door.

I flushed and washed my mouth out before exiting the bathroom. Franklin was leaning against the wall looking concerned for me.

"Me and drinking doesn't end up well most times."

"That's unfortunate. You need anything?"

"Maybe some water?"

I followed him back to the kitchen. The view from here was beautiful in the morning light. Looking out the window, I noticed a pool on the lower level which I hadn't seen last night.

"You're house is so beautiful." I hummed.

"Thanks. You're welcome anytime."

A short period of silence followed while I sipped on my water. The only noises from inside the house belonged to Franklin finishing his cereal and Chop scratching himself.

"So do you not drink often? Is that why you get sick?" Franklin asked.

I sighed, "I guess I'm just a lightweight."

"That oughtta suck."

"Tell me about it. Last time me and Jess drank I woke up on our table, and before that I was in Trevor's bed half naked."

"Wait, what?"

I laughed, "I didn't tell you? Ah, well I went over a while ago thinking he had a job for me to get some money, but it was all a joke. Somehow he got me to go drinking and I passed out at the bar. Next morning I woke up in my underwear."

"Damn. That…that's something else. Are you two…"

"Oh God no."

I frowned at the thought. I had Jess. I didn't need anyone else.

After a while I thanked Franklin for all his help with last night and this morning before taking my leave. I usually wouldn't be awake before noon if I drank the previous night, but Chop woke me up so my body was forced to be human again. I took my time driving home and I even stopped for breakfast after realizing how hungry I was.

One I arrived at home, I almost forgot how empty it was with Jess being gone for two weeks. I kicked my shoes off and headed to the bathroom to shower to feel a little more human. I hoped the headache that still lingered would disappear so I could have a good day. When I stepped out of the shower, I could hear my phone ringing in the kitchen.

"Hello?" I didn't even look at who was calling.

"Hey sweetheart." Trevor's voice replied.

"Oh Trevor."

"You say my name like I just killed a puppy."

"I guess I wasn't expecting you to call."

"Well I thought we could hang out or something. You seem to like to hang out with the other guys. You avoiding me?"

"Not particularly."

"Then let's hang out. I'll pick you up tonight."

As I started to speak up, the line was already dead. I didn't really want to hang out with him nor did I have a clue what we'd be doing. I groaned loudly as I plunked myself down on the couch. Being with Trevor could only mean trouble.

  
"There you are!" Trevor flung his arms out as I exited the building.

I was captured in a tight embrace. At least he didn't smell bad. It even looked like he was wearing new clothes, or at least clean ones compared to his usual wear.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Cheep up buttercup. T's got a plan."

We drove only a mile with Channel X playing before I wanted to cut my ears off. "Can I change the station?"

"No, this is my favorite."

I frowned, "Can you turn it down, or maybe off?"

Trevor grumbled to himself before turning it off. He still refused to tell me where we were going and it made me uneasy. At least I could enjoy the silence until we reached our destination.

 


	18. Jackpot

"What the fuck are we doing here?"

I looked up at the casino building. Neon lights blinked on and off in the already sun setting sky. This was a common place my uncle visited; he could even already be here too, I wouldn't doubt it. People that gambled had a serious problem, and I wasn't ready to join the club and lose everything I had.

"You wanted to make some money. If we play the slots we can win big."

"If we play responsibly. I didn't bring enough money even if I wanted to play."

Trevor slipped a one hundred dollar bill into my hand before ushering me out of his truck. I walked in, telling myself only to play with the money in my hand. If I lost it to the machines, I wouldn't be out anything. It wasn't mine.

The inside was filled with smoke in the air, cheap drinks, pretty girls, and a bunch of losers betting all their money. I had never actually been to this casino, or any other, and I hated it already. Due to my height and smaller build, people passing by constantly bumped into me. Trevor finally stopped at a machine somewhat further away from people.

"You play while I go get us drinks."

"Trevor I don't," he was gone, "drink."

I put my money in the stupid machine and watched as it slowly at it all. A presence found its way to my side and I began to complain, until I turned and realized it wasn't Trevor next to me.

"What's a pretty lady like you doing in a place like this?" And old dirtbag asked me.

"Go fuck off, will ya?"

"That's not very nice." He frowned, grabbing onto me.

"She said fuck off, asshole."

With one look at Trevor the man ran off. Trevor handed me a beer and I couldn't care less about it. I wasn't having fun and maybe it would loosen me up or make things more fun. Several machines and two more drink later I was feeling more at ease. I smiled more and laughed at the stupid things Trevor said. It wasn't so bad after all.

Trevor excused himself to the bathroom and I kept playing a retro themed machine. I felt hands slide up my waist and I slapped the hands away. Trevor wasn't being funny. I turned around to see the man from earlier trying to grab my ass.

"Didn't I tell you to fuck off?" I slurred.

"Honey why don't you come home with me tonight? I can keep you better company than that turd you came in with."

"Get your hands off me." I yelled, catching the attention of some people near us.

"Shh." He demanded.

As he began to take a step toward me, his entire body stumbled out of the way. Turning to see the reason why, I saw an infuriated Trevor. Before any more punches were thrown, security escorted the other man out and giving Trevor his only warning.

"Are you okay?" Trevor asked me.

I hugged him, a muffled thank you escaping my mouth. My heart had been racing and I wouldn't have been strong enough to keep that guy away from me.

"Come on, let's keep playing. We have twenty bucks left."

Trevor followed me this time, letting me pick a machine for the rest of the money. It was technically his; I gambled all of mine away, but he insisted I have another go. I picked a stupid video game themed machine and put the money in. We both watched in anticipation as the slots came close but never enough to win anything. With the last spin, I had already given up, barely paying attention to the machine until it roared to life with sounds and flashing colors.

"You did it! You hit the jackpot!"

My eyes lit up as $13,972 flashed on the screen. I printed the paper and grabbed Trevor's hand, running up to the main desk to cash it.

"Oh my god." I breathed as I leafed through the pile of green in my hands as we walked back to Trevor's truck.

"Technically it's yours, you know." I stated.

"Keep it."

"At least let me split it."

"I've got all the money I need sweetheart. You keep it."

In my drunk state it didn't bother me to hug him. At that moment I realized all the beer I had was making me super tired.

"I'm sleepy."

"Let's go home then."

Trevor started his truck and took off on the highway.

"I think you're going the wrong way…" I pointed out.

It didn't matter. The ride would take a while so I closed me eyes and let my head fall to Trevor's shoulder. He moved around for a moment, allowing him to wrap an arm around me as I inhaled his musky scent as I fell asleep.


	19. And So It Happened

I felt the truck stop before the engine went quiet and woke up. It was dark but I could see we were in front of Trevor's house. With ease, he slipped out from under me not realizing I was awake. He took my hand when I reached for him, helping me out. Being drunk and half asleep, I tripped over my own feet and laughed.

"Come on, princess."

Trevor picked me up off the ground, wrapping an arm around my waist to help me up the stairs to his trailer. I continued to chuckle with every step.

"Oh hey Trevor you're back!" A voice from the trailer called.

"Get out Wade."

"Okay Trevor." A younger man with dreads walked out and noticed me leaning against the outside wall. "Hi lady."

"Hi." I giggled.

He sounded like he was a child trapped in an adult body. His voice didn't match his look and it just made me laugh even harder. Trevor grabbed my wrist and pulled me in, slamming the door behind him. He looked upset so I stumbled toward him and took his head in my hands, squeezing his face.

"Your friend is funny. I like him." I smiled bearing all of my teeth.

I wasn't anticipating it, but Trevor leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I couldn't tell if it was worse that I let him or the fact that I enjoyed it. I kissed him back with a desperate need as his hands wandered up and down my sides. They finally landed on my ass and gave a squeeze making me break the kiss to laugh again. My butt was my only good asset in my opinion. My boobs weren't that large so my ass made up for it.

In the midst of my laugh, Trevor's lips made their way to my neck, sucking and biting on the tender skin, and definitely leaving marks I'd find tomorrow. My breathing became much heavier.

One hand found its way into my shirt, slowly rubbing circles onto my skin as it crept upward. The rational side of my brain was sending an alert, although very fuzzy, to me.

"Trevor…"

"Mmm."

"I…I don't know…"

Trevor's kisses stopped and he looked at me with hungry eyes, "Baby, I'm not going to hurt you."

"I just…"

"What?"

"I don't think you'd like my body, I mean, I don't really like it—" I was rambling, another habit I had when I was drunk.

"So I can't motorboat with you. I don't care if your tits are small. At least I know you're not fake and full of plastic. Don't know about this though." He squeezed my butt again with a smile.

I smiled, "That's definitely real."

"God, I really want you right now." Trevor thrusted into my side and I could feel him.

"I haven't…with a guy…in a while…" I looked away.

"Come to bed with me and I'll treat you right." His whisper was in my ear and it gave me shivers throughout my body.

Trevor grabbed my hands and pulled me to his room. In moments I was on my back on his bed with him hovering over me, lips on mine. Hands found their way back to my body and I let them help me out of my shirt. His lips moved to my collarbone as he eased my favorite baby pink bra off. Sitting up, he stared down at me and my face went red.

"Don't stare…" I spoke almost silently.

"You're so beautiful." He spoke before removing his own shirt and throwing it carelessly to the other side of the room.

I wanted to touch him. He was neither fat nor particularly built, but of an average build, one that I liked. A few scars lines his arms and chest and I ran my fingers over a few. He was so warm. I smiled as he leaned down and kissed me more. Trevor ground himself against me and I gasped.

"Rachel I need you."

Trevor helped me out of my shorts and underwear before removing his. I only saw a glimpse of his size, bigger than what I've ever had, before he, thankfully, wrapped it. I was already ready for him and he could tell. Slowly he inserted himself into me and sounds escaped my lips. God, it's been a long time.

A decent rhythm was quickly established and I was transported to another world. We became one in that moment. Trevor started grunting in my ear and it turned me on even more than I had been. I soon became a mess under him and his pace quickened. I was filled with ecstasy as he came undone. I was given more kisses as he pulled out and tossed the condom carelessly somewhere.

My eyes were already closing as he laid next to me, throwing a blanket over us. His arms wrapped around my body and I snuggled closer to him, easily drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, so if you're the type of person I am and visualize everything and you also want to feel those feels, I recommend taking the moment before hitting next chapter to listen to Colorado Sunrise by 3OH!3. Idk if links work in this portion but have it anyways if you're lazy like me as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CiOrQZ0R7k


	20. Mistakes

I felt a breath on my neck before an arm around my stomach pulled me closer to the warm, naked body behind me. I stirred awake and felt light stubble prick at my shoulder. When I rolled over, I remembered I was also naked.

"Mornin."

Trevor. I smiled at his voice and buried my head in his chest. The usual headache after too many drinks was present, but I hadn't drank enough to feel sick. Trevor rubbed light circles on my back and kissed my head. Neither of us made any attempt to move or get out of bed.

Until my phone went off.

I sat up a little to quickly and felt a rush in my head. My phone was in my pocket of my shorts which were discarded at the foot of the bed. With haste, I pulled it out and answered it, not bothering to look who was calling.

"Hello?"

"Hey it's me."

"Jessica." My heart dropped.

"Did I wake you up?"

My mouth was dry, "Y-yeah."

"Sorry! Just thought I'd check in with you. I miss you already."

"Miss you too…"

"Okay I'll let you get back to sleep if you can. I'll call later this week."

I hung up and sat, stunned, for a moment. Trevor's hand on my back snapped me out of it, out of everything.

"Trevor I have to go."

"Okay, I'll take you."

"No I'll call a cab."

"It'll take hours for them to get here. Just let me take you."

Trevor insisted and wouldn't let me say no, something I should've also said last night. Fortunately I got him to drop me off at the movie theater after I lied about meeting Jess there. I put on a fake smile and waved as he drove off. After a minute, I started walking. My feet took me where I needed to be. What should've been a long walk seemed like only minutes before I stood in front of a picturesque house. I knocked. Michael came to the door and I could feel myself already falling apart.

"I-is Tracey home?" I trembled.

"Rachel what's wrong?"

"I did something bad Michael." I whispered.

Michael put a hand on my shoulder and urged me in. Before the conversation, I had placed a hand on the side of my neck, and Michael took notice to it.

"Did you hurt yourself? Are you bleeding?"

I shook my head and removed my hand, revealing the vast amount of purple marks that trailed down into my shirt.

"So you got some hickeys. Nothing wrong with that."

"They aren't from Jess."

Michael looked at me with beady eyes, "Then who are they from?"

I bit my lip and looked away. At this moment I wanted to die.

"T-Trevor."

"What?!" Michaels voice rang loud in the large space.

Like a dog being yelled at by their master, I began to cry. Not only because I was afraid in the current moment, but because of what Jess would say when she found out.

"You fucked my best friend?!" Michael almost yelled at me.

I backed up against the wall by now, nodding and in tremendous fear of my life. I couldn't read Michael's expression, but he caused a stir throughout the house.

"Oh my god dad what are you doing?" Tracey ran down the stairs after peeking at us from above.

She grabbed my hand and for once I gladly followed. In her room I tried to stop my tears so I could properly speak.

"Can I ask you a dumb question?"

"Sure." She smiled.

"Do you have makeup to cover this up?" I asked, pointing to the love bites.

She went to her vanity and grabbed some bottles and brushes. I didn't really know makeup so my complete trust was in her hands.

"Why do you wanna cover these?" She mindlessly asked.

"You didn't hear Michael?"

"You fucked my best friend?" She imitated, making me laugh.

"Yeah I made a mistake."

"Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Anyways, how does that look?" The marks were gone.

"Where can I get some of that?"

"Oh, here. You can have it."

"Thank you, really. I should probably go talk to Michael and explain things."

"Your choice." She shrugged.

I staggered down the stairs, a wave of slight nausea coming over me. Just thinking about what happened made me sick. I found Michael in the living room, smoking.

"I'm sorry, Michael."

"I'm not who you have to be sorry to."

"I know, but you got upset."

He sighed, "I did, didn't I? I guess I should be sorry, so sorry. Just wasn't expecting to hear that."

"Can you give me a ride home?"


	21. Emptiness

"I don't want to intrude, but I need to know why. How did this even happen?"

The rush of lunch time traffic kept us waiting at a red light. The silence was eating both of us alive apparently.

"He called me yesterday and said we were gonna go someplace. He took me to the casino and we actually won." I smiled at the good before the bad. "I don't drink a lot because I can't handle it, and he knew that and got me drunk. I was like a fucking puppet for him. Then this morning Jess called and it hit me how bad I fucked up."

"I fucked up once before. My whole family left me."

"Do you think Jess is gonna leave me?"

"I don't know kid, she might."

My heart dropped. Me and Jess just celebrated nine months together and I fucked up. I fucked up so bad.

"I'll go kick Trevor's ass. If he fucking knew he shouldn't have set you up like that."

Michael fumed again while I went silent. I tried to picture my life without Jessica and I couldn't. It wouldn't be the same. Michael must've sensed my anxiety and calmed down.

"Look, this probably isn't the greatest advice, but just don't tell her what happened. It'll all blow by and you'll forget about it."

"I don't know if I can."

"Well I can't predict if she'll run away or not, but I'm sure something bad will happen if you tell her. It will take her time to trust you again. Just look at me and Amanda."

"What about you two?" I asked.

"I did bad things and she left. She came back but we're still working things out. We're not perfect."

"Thanks Michael. And thanks for the ride."

"No problem. See you around."

I stepped out of his car and went up to the lonely apartment.

I frowned, is this what it will be like if Jessica leave me?

I needed a shower, bad. I wanted to melt my own skin off, rid of the memories of Trevor's hands on my body, of him in me. But no matter how much I wanted to hate him, I couldn't. He made me feel so good in ways Jessica didn't want to, or couldn't.

Jessica. She was going to hate me. I had to tell her. I had to be honest. Maybe she could forgive me. I don't know what I'd do if she wouldn't. I didn't want to think about it, but every thought I had came back to it.

I sat in the dark in complete isolation. It didn't make things better, but it felt like the only thing to do. And I did that the rest of the time Jessica was gone. I barely ate and when I did, it wasn't very nutritious. There was only one thing I could do, and even then there was no promise Jessica would forgive me.

The day came where I heard her come in. She turned the lights on one by one and saw me on the couch. I stood to do what I had to, but she hugged me.

"I missed you so much!" She said.

My arms were limp at her sides and she knew something was not right. Her bright and perfect smile faded away and a concerned frown replaced it.

"Rachel what's wrong?"

With no words, I did what I could do for her to understand clearly. I dropped to my knees then placed my hands and head on the floor by her feet.

"Rachel?"

In poor Korean, I said I was sorry.

"Rachel what happened?" Her own voice faltered.

With my head still on the ground I spoke, "I did something very bad."

"Get up, please, Rachel."

"I can't." I began to sob.

Jess sat down, ready to process the terrible things I was going to tell her.

"I went out with a guy and he got me drunk." I began.

"Oh no."

"We went back to his trailer and…things happened."

Jessica was the one sobbing now. She couldn't even look at me.

"We stayed safe but I was so drunk. I didn't mean for any of it to happen."

After a long period of silence I finally looked up at her.

"Nine months." She whispered. "We spent nine months together and you go off and fuck someone else? And a guy at that? Rachel, I thought you were a homosexual."

Her words stung like thousands of razor blades cutting through my skin. She never swore.

"I am. I love you. I was just drunk."

"Don't tell me you love me."

"Jessica, please."

"It's not my fault Jessica." She mocked my voice. "So is it my fault then? Because I don't want to commit any more sins, you go off to sin city while I'm gone?!"

"Jess…"

"Don't you dare speak my name from your filthy mouth. I'm taking my things and leaving."

"Don't go."

"Don't touch me!"

From my spot on the ground, I watched her leave. She grabbed all of her bags she just brought home and slammed the door. That sound echoed in my head. I felt like I was paralyzed until a waterfall of tears streamed down my face. I crumpled into a ball and cried. Jessica was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I recommend taking the moment before hitting next chapter to listen to What Can I Say by Dead by April. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQXEt1JNUhE


	22. Getting Out

Jessica was gone. Well, not gone gone; she went to her brother's place. I couldn't get her words out of my head, or worse, the look that screamed pain and hurt as she walked out the door. I really hurt her.

So I hurt myself.

I barely ate; food the the fridge began to spoil. Most of my time was spent sleeping, and when I wasn't, I was crying. I left several voicemails to Jessica's phone because she refused to answer. Her brother even called me to tell me she wanted me to stop. That only broke me down more.

My phone would occasionally ring from calls and texts, although none of them were from the only person I wanted them to be. I ignored all of them and refused to use my phone for anything else. For once my phone stayed alive for days at a time. But I didn't know it was worrying other people.

My apartment buzzer went off, startling me awake from my nap on the couch. I waited and hoped whoever it was would give up and go away, but they didn't. The buzzer went off again and with a great struggle I dragged myself to the door.

"What." I groaned.

"Rachel?" It was Franklin.

"What." I repeated.

"Are you ok? Can I come up?"

I pressed the button to let him in and left my door ajar before returning to the couch. I heard his footsteps approach the door and falter in the doorway.

"Rachel?"

"I'm over here."

I could tell he was walking toward my voice with caution. The entire apartment was dark, and from his point of view, he couldn't see me. I looked up to see him looking down at me.

"Why are all the lights off?"

"They don't need to be on."

"Why haven't you answered any of our calls or texts?"

I retorted with another question, "Haven't you figured it out yet?

"Figured what out? Michael was worried and had Lester track your phone. He knows you haven't gone anywhere in over a week and he said he was worried. They sent me to check on you. What is going on?"

I rolled over, the tears beginning to form in my eyes again. It was amazing I was able to still produce any tears at this point.

"Jess left me."

"What?"

"My girlfriend left me!" I sat up and yelled, the tears spilling over finally.

"Shit Rachel, I'm sorry."

"It's all my fault." I sobbed.

Franklin sat down next to me and pat my back, but I grabbed onto him like a leech, crying on his shoulder. For how long we sat like that, I do not know. When I calmed down he spoke again.

"Why don't you go take a shower. I'm gonna take you out."

"I don't want to."

"You need to."

He urged me to go clean up. I did need a shower, but I didn't want to go out. My hands grabbed a clean pair of jeans and a hoodie on the way to the bathroom. A quick shower and rough attempt at hair and makeup I found Franklin in the living room on his phone, the lights now on. I realized I felt weak.

"When was the last time you ate an actual meal?" He asked looking at me.

I shrugged. I didn't even know what day it was. Franklin sighed then rushed me out of the apartment. Our first stop was at Burger Shot. Franklin ate two burgers while I ended up eating five and surprising both of us.

Back in his car, he didn't tell me our next destination and I didn't care to speak up and ask. Franklin had other plans.

"Do you wanna talk about anything?"

"Not really."

"I won't judge. I've done some shit of my own."

A long car ride of silence followed until we pulled up at the Oriental Theater. Of my time spent here, I had never visited and it was very beautiful. People were everywhere and some even dressed in costumes.

"What are we doing here?" I asked.

"We gonna watch a movie."

Franklin helped me out of the car and bought tickets for a show. Despite the many people outside the theater, the inside was nearly empty. Ten minutes in and I quit paying attention. I leaned on Franklin and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Trevor got me drunk." I started in a whisper.

"What?"

"We went to the casino and he got me drunk. I hit jackpot and we went back to his place. Then…" my voice trailed off.

"You made a mistake. You were drunk, it happens." Franklin whispered back.

"I really messed up."

We finished the movie with no other exchange between us. From his car I watched as the lights of the city turned on as the sky went dark. The neon and colored lights looked so pretty.

"Can I stay with you?" I asked, breathing on the window.

"I guess if you want."

We drove all the way back to my apartment so I could grab a change of clothes and a few other things. Then we headed all the way across town to Franklin's beautiful house on the hill.

"You can sleep in my bed. I'll sleep on the couch."

"Thanks."

I went downstairs and dropped my bag on the floor. Through the glass windows I saw the glow of a serene looking pool. Without a second thought I stripped to my bra and underwear and dove in. When I emerged from under the water I saw Franklin standing at the balcony. I swam around and looked at the lights from the city skyscrapers. Franklin cleared his throat and gestured to a towel for when I was done. With a smile I turned back to the city. I wished Jessica could see the view.


	23. Found You

For the first time in weeks I woke up feeling quite refreshed. Chop had come to the door and I let him in, cuddling him on Franklin's bed. My voice only for dogs came out and I smiled at Chop when he barked back. I hushed him when I heard voices upstairs, and decided I should make myself present. Thankfully the voice was only from Michael. When he saw me he nearly ran to hug me.

"Christ, you're alive."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You didn't answer my calls or texts, and you didn't leave your apartment for over a week. Franklin said you hardly ate when he got you."

I joked, "Are you my dad or a stalker? I'm fine."

"Sure as hell didn't seem like it."

"Well what am I supposed to do Michael? Jess isn't coming back because I fucked up." My light mood disappeared.

"She will."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

I wanted to yell at him, pour all of my hate and pain out at him. Instead of words coming out of my mouth, tears came out of my eyes in defeat. Michael wrapped his arms around me and cried into his chest, getting his shirt wet with my elephant tears. I wanted to stop with all the crying. I needed to keep my mind off things.

My phone rang, all three heads turning to it. The ringtone wasn't Jessica's so I didn't move to answer it.

"Do you want me to get that?" Franklin asked.

With my gesture saying I don't care, he answered. After saying a hello, he hung up with a horrified expression.

"Shit that was Trevor."

Michael groaned and pulled out his own phone. I tried to regain my composure and walked into the kitchen for space. Although early in the day and perhaps a bad decision, I pulled out a beer. I stood looking out the window as I listened to Michael's call, which he had put on speakerphone.

"Lester, don't tell T where we are."

"I'm afraid he's already on his way. Might I add furious."

"Fucking great."

Michael ended the call and found me, "Should you be drinking that?"

So many retorts to his question filtered through my brain but none of them were spoken. Franklin joined us in the kitchen and looked between us. Michael grabbed the beer away from me while I was caught in the moment.

"So what do we do?"

"I can get Rachel out of here but that would leave you under fire."

"I'll stay here." I said.

"What?" They said in unison.

"If Trevor wants to yell at me for ignoring him then so be it. I need to set things straight."

"Damn, you crazy, girl."

I smiled, "I'm going to go for a quick swim."

I heard Michael sigh and mention my name and Trevor's in the same sentence, probably not anything good. I grabbed the towel from last night and walked out the door, leaving a trail of my clothes to the pool. I went under the water for a moment of serenity before returning to the surface. As if returning to a completely different world, I heard a roar from the house.

"WHERE IS SHE!"

Michael's voice tried to rationalize with him but that only frustrated Trevor more. I could see them through the windows as Franklin walked up to him and said something. Trevor looked as if he was breathing fire before making his way downstairs and to the pool.

"Where have you been?" He growled.

"Around." I replied with nonchalance.

"Do you like ignoring me?"

"Don't flatter yourself, I have been ignoring everyone."

"Is that why you're at Frank's? And Mikey is here too? Huh?"

I climbed out of the pool and Trevor's eyes followed. I'm sure Mike and Franklin's eyes followed as well but I dared not to look. Nor did I care much if they did. I could tell Trevor was trying not to ogle me, but most of his rage seemed to subside for the moment. I ran my hand on his chest and his breathing hitched.

"Are you afraid of me being so close with Franklin and not you?" I looked at him with big eyes.

His mouth opened to say something but nothing came out. He ended up licking his lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my body to his.

"You want to know the truth?"

He nodded.

"I think you should stop fucking around with peoples' relationships!" I yelled as I somehow mustered the strength to throw him in the pool.

When he emerged for a breath of air, I went on, "I'm not fucking around with Franklin and I'm done fucking around with you."

I took the towel and picked up my clothes before walking back inside, leaving Trevor gaping and soaked in Franklin's pool.

Sorry Franklin.


	24. All Me

I walked upstairs and got a clap on the back from Franklin.

"I was not expecting that."

I shrugged. I guess I used all the anger I had by throwing Trevor in the pool. I walked to Michael who stood watching Trevor as he wrung out his clothes as best as he could.

"He got what he deserved."

Trevor looked pathetic and part of me felt bad. I sort of got out of control for a moment but it felt good to release the pent up feelings. I watched as Trevor trudged up the outside set of stairs, Chop barking as he passed by. Although I was given looks by Michael and Franklin, I walked outside to meet Trevor by his truck. He glanced at me then turned away with a scoff.

"I'm sorry. Maybe we should talk."

"I came here to talk and you threw me in a pool."

"You were crazy." I pointed out.

"I get it, alright. I'll go." He hopped in his truck, still soaking wet.

"Wait," I held up a finger before running back inside.

"Where are you going?" Michael asked.

I ran downstairs to grab my bag then back up for my phone. "I have to finish some things."

Michael called my name as I ran out the door but I was already jumping into Trevor's truck. His shirt had been discarded onto the floor and sunglasses placed on his face as we drove off. Channel X started playing as we pulled away from Franklin's house.

"Where are we going?"

"I am going home."

"Trevor, I'm sorry for throwing you into the pool, but can we please talk somewhat normally?"

"Talk."

I couldn't read the expression on his face. He was being difficult and I didn't even know what to say. Nothing was planned so I sighed.

"I was being honest when I said I was ignoring everyone."

To prove my point, I unlocked my phone. 63 unread texts and 29 missed calls. I definitely wasn't expecting that many and quickly scrolled through everything before deleting the unimportant things, which was basically everything.

"It really pisses me off that you just ran off after last time."

"Last time…shouldn't have happened."

Trevor suddenly stopped at a stop sign and I jolted forward, "Are you saying it was a mistake?"

"Yes." I was quick to answer. "No. I mean… It happened and I don't regret it, but it shouldn't have happened."

"What are you saying?" Trevor looked at me dead in the eye.

All at once I felt my body temperature rise and my heart beat faster than usual. My face probably went pink and I couldn't bring myself to look Trevor in the eye.

"Please don't make me say it. You already know."

He smiled, "Say it."

I fidgeted in my seat. I didn't want to say it. Not out loud.

"I, um, enjoyed the time we, uh, spent together."

Trevor roared with laughter as he took off again and I wanted to shrink down in my seat. Everything about this moment was uncomfortable and part of me had already died.

"You have a lovely way with words." Trevor continued to chuckle.

He looked over at me and saw my discomfort, putting his hand on my leg. His thumb, perhaps instinctively, ran back and fourth over my skin, making my heart race even more. I tried to push him away.

"Please don't. I don't want to make things worse."

"Worse? I'm trying to make things better."

"Trevor, you knew I had a girlfriend. Yet you lured me into your trap."

"You didn't say no. And you liked it. I don't see a problem."

"My girlfriend left me!"

We both went silent. The scenery of the desert became clearer as we got closer to his stupid trailer. The heat was already drying me out. Without a word, he pulled up next to his trailer and cut the engine, leaving me in the passenger seat. I hopped out and followed him into his trailer.

"Do you have nothing to say to me?"

"I'm just trying to control myself around you." Trevor said through tight teeth.

I muttered a fine before showing myself out. The afternoon sun was at its brightest and slowly killing me. I walked toward the Alamo Sea, hoping it wasn't as disgusting as the rest of this town. After kicking my shoes off, I waded around in the warm shallow water. The thought of getting home was on my mind. I came all the way out here without thinking about how I would get back. Clearly coming out here was a mistake as nothing was solved.

"I'm sorry, Rachel."

I turned around and saw Trevor standing along the shore.

"Sorry doesn't bring her back." I muttered to myself.

Trevor asked, "What?"

I walked toward him, "Maybe I should just go home."

"Why?"

"You're mad at me too."

He sighed, "I'm not mad at you."

"Well you're not being pleasant."

"Have you not noticed that I'm not the most pleasant person to be around?"

I frowned. I hated to admit it but I enjoyed Trevor's presence. I really enjoyed how he made me felt that night, but I had to stop thinking about it. It wouldn't make my situation any better. Though it made me realize something.

"I can't even blame you for this it's entirely my fault." I blurted out, changing the subject and mentally hitting myself.

Trevor was confused, "What?"

"It was all me. I drank all the beer, I got wasted, I had sex with you, I enjoyed it. I fucked my relationship up."

Trevor had nothing to say and watched as I frustratingly kicked water, which did absolutely nothing. I ended up with my back turned to Trevor and didn't even hear him come up behind me to slip his arms around my waist in either a hug or as a restraint. Either way it made me feel a way I shouldn't, but I wasn't about to push him away. Perhaps I was making another mistake, but I was already close to rock bottom anyways.


	25. Gotta Go

"Oh my fucking God." Trevor growled in my ear as his phone rang in his pocket.

He reached for it in his pocket and was about to throw it into the Alamo sea but I stole it from his hands, "Don't." I said, then answered for him.

"Oh is Trevor there?"

"May I ask who is calling?"

"Chef."

I mouthed the name at Trevor who had a frown on his face until he suddenly grabbed the phone from me. A short conversation full of questions and angry replies took place. Trevor began to walk off as he ended the call and I followed close behind.

"Where are you going?"

"I've got some business to take care of."

"At the strip club?"

Trevor turned to me and placed his hands on my shoulders, "No. Don't worry about it. I'll be back soon."

I frowned, "I don't want to sit in your trailer. It's gross."

"Fine, lets go."

I grabbed my shoes and hopped in his truck, barefoot. The ride wasn't very long; we were still in the desert. It confused me when we pulled up in front of a run down store, although everything in the desert looked run down.

"Stay in the truck."

I figured he wanted a snack or a drink or something, but what should've only taken a few minutes turned into many minutes. I felt uncomfortable and awkward just sitting alone in the truck and decided to buy myself a water while we were here. Two steps through the door and I realized this place was really run down.

As I wondered where Trevor was, I heard the sound of his voice, muffled through layers of walls and whatever else may be between us. I found a set of stairs behind a counter and followed it up. On the last step a loud squeak stopped me in my steps as well as the voices. I heard a set of footsteps coming closer to me, but if I moved the squeak would happen again. I was stuck.

The footsteps revealed the owner but all I saw was a gun in my face and shut my eyes as I shrunk myself down.

"Rachel?"

I looked up and released my held breath, "Trevor."

"I said wait in the truck."

"I— I'm sorry." I was shaking knowing he could've pulled the trigger and killed me in an instant.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He pulled me into a hug and for once I accepted.

Now that I was here, Trevor kept me by his side and I didn't argue with it. We walked into another room where a man with an apron was standing. He raised an eyebrow at me but made no comment.

"This should be ready." He said.

Trevor stepped away from me and hid what the other man set on the table. Only until Trevor inhaled quickly, everything clicked.

"You're Chef." I said out loud.

He turned to me, "Yes."

"I can already tell this is good shit." Trevor said.

He motioned for Chef to try it as well then looked at me. I shook my head.

"Good. Don't ruin your life."

Chef then packed the cocaine up for Trevor. They said their goodbyes and Trevor and I went back out to his truck.

"Can you drive after taking that?"

"I do it all the time."

"But should you?"

"Probably not. I do a lot of things I shouldn't."

I held my hand out for his keys, "Let me drive."

"Will you sit on my lap again?"

I gave him a look that said no and he handed me his keys. Finally being behind the wheel again made my heart race even though I knew I wouldn't be racing. Trevor directed me back to his trailer where two figures stood on the porch.

"Hi Trevor! And the lady too!"

I vaguely recognized the person that was waving to us. Wayne? Walt? I couldn't remember. Trevor motioned for everyone to go inside. I kept myself a few steps away from the three, knowing they were doing business with something I didn't want to get involved with any more than what I already was. I watched as Trevor snorted another line with his friends. My phone decided to ring and I excused myself to Trevor's bedroom.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" It was Jessica's brother.

"The desert. Why?"

"Do you know what day it is?"

"No?"

"No wonder why Jess hates you. It's your 10 month anniversary."

"Oh shit."

"She's too afraid to call you or go over and see you, even though you're not at the apartment right now." He sighed. "You need to come talk to her."

"Okay." I panicked.

A cab would take way too long and I didn't want Trevor driving me back after using coke. I peeked out of his bedroom and heard him talk down to his friends.

"Trevor?" I squeaked out.

After plowing through his friends he came up to me, "What's wrong?"

"Can I borrow your truck? I need to go back to LS for something important."

"I'll drive you."

"No, I need to get there quick."

With a growing smile Trevor told me he knew a better option.


	26. She's Back

"You're joking."

"No, I'm not." Trevor said, taking my hand and pulling me closer.

I was staring at a helicopter with red words crudely painted on the sides. I would've never guessed Trevor knew how to fly. Two seconds later and I was in the passenger seat, buttons and levers glowing at me as Trevor started it up. My fear of heights made my heart race, but from the altitude we were, everything looked incredible.

"I'll have to give you a proper tour someday." Trevor said through his headset.

In what seemed like barely any time at all, we were flying above Los Santos. We landed in Vespucci Helipad where I thanked Trevor and told him to fly safely home.

Then I ran.

I wasn't far from the apartment but I still needed to get something. A gas station wouldn't have flowers, so I opted for a strawberry slurpee, Jessica's favorite. I ran as fast as I could to her bother's apartment, the slurpee already turning into juice. I impatiently hit the buzzer until the door opened to reveal the person I had come for.

"Jessica." I breathed.

She started to close the door but I stopped it with my foot.

"Jess please." I begged.

After a long moment with her eyes staring into mine, she opened the door. She said not a word and I didn't expect her to.

"I'm sorry about everything. I really am. I'm even sorry about today. All I got you was a slurpee."

I held it to her and she took it, but didn't drink it, "So you did remember?"

"Of course. I know things are bad because of me but…"

"So you do care." A tiny smile was barely visible of her face.

"I'm sorry, but I love you."

"Stop saying sorry." She pouted.

"Sorry."

The smile grew on her face a little more but I still didn't quite know where we stood.

"Can you forgive me?"

Jess watched me as she took a drink of the melted slurpee. She squinted her eyes as if thinking.

With a serious tone, "I will only forgive you once."

My heart skipped a beat and I impulsively hugged her, taking in her scent for the first time in many days. I didn't want to lose her again. Life was hell without her.

"Does this mean you'll move back in the apartment?"

Jessica's brother came out of his room, "She will."

"Was it really that bad with me here?" She asked.

He retreated back into his room and we shared a laugh. I helped Jess pack up all the things she left lying around before walking with her back to our apartment. The same apartment I haven't been in myself in days. Jessica didn't complain about the slight smell or the messy bed. She just smiled, and that made me smile.

"I wanna take you out somewhere nice, as a proper sorry and as a celebration to us." I said.

"Rach, you don't have to do that."

"No, I do. So please, let me take you out."

Jess looked at me for a moment before finally giving in. This was my chance to redeem myself. While she unpacked, I called a fancy restaurant to reserve a table for two. As much as I thought I'd spend more time full of regret, Jessica and I both smiled and joked like nothing happened. It was perfect.

After our lovely dinner, we stopped at the beach and walked along the shore in the evening sun.

"Why did you do it?"

"Jess..."

"It's just a question. I won't get mad."

"I told you I was drunk. I'm not myself after a couple drinks."

"Was it because of me?"

I stopped walking to look at her, "What are you talking about?"

"You tried with me but I just can't. Not yet."

"Jess, no. It's not you, it never was you, nor will it ever be you. I made a mistake and paid for it."

"You're right. Lets officially forget about it."

"Amen."


	27. Another Round

It took two weeks for anyone to ask how things were between me and Jess now. Until the next week, Trevor had called and texted me nearly nonstop, just like before. Three more weeks after that, I received a phone call from the one person I was least expecting; Lester.

"I have a proposal." He stated.

I turned to look at Jessica who was engrossed in flipping through stations on the tv. I slipped out of the kitchen and into our room before allowing this conversation to continue.

"What do you want?" I whispered in a harsh tone.

"No need for hostilities. The guys have another setup, wondering if you'd help."

"I just got my life back together."

"If you don't want to do it, then don't. I just thought you needed the money."

"I do. I always do. Fuck me."

"Your decision but make up your mind quickly."

"When is it?"

"In a few days. After midnight."

I paced around the room. Of course I wanted and needed the money, but at what cost? If Jess found out…no, if she finds out about Trevor then it'd be all over again. I couldn't risk it.

"I'll call you back."

I exited the bedroom to find Jess still channel surfing. She looked up to see me hesitating by the door.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah I just, I think I need some air. I'll be back later."

"Be careful!"

I hurried down into the garage and hopped on my bike. I needed to go, to just drive. Anywhere was fine, I just needed a moment. I drove in circles just to keep my mind focused on anything besides Trevor. I haven't talked to him since, well, everything.

But, oh, Trevor. How could I forget his hands on my body, how he made me feel. He knew how to make me feel good, how to make me—

"Stop it!" I yelled to no one but myself.

All it took was one moment to lose control and wipe out. My arm burned, I was thrown into the other lane, people were honking, it was a nightmare. Someone rushed out of their car to help me, but I'd been through much worse. I was totally fine.

After I picked up my now scratched bike, I called Lester back.

"I'm in."

We all met shortly after that. Lester arranged it to the usual place, and somehow I was still the last one there.

"You decided to show up." Michael said as I walked through the door.

A brief look at Trevor told me he wasn't very pleased with seeing me, so I did my best to ignore him and sat by Franklin.

"Hey girl, you okay?" Franklin spoke low enough to not interfere with Lester who began talking, but I waved off his concern.

It was nice to be welcomed and to be part of this again, although I hated the feeling of being watched. I knew it was Trevor who was watching me. I tried to be casual and actually listen to Lester.

"Any questions?"

The room was full of no's and we all parted. Since this was organized rather quickly, the plan was to do it tomorrow night. I walked down the staircase and only steps out the door before I heard my name.

"Rachel, will you wait?"

I took a deep breath to prepare myself for this conversation and turned around to see Trevor looking significantly less angry.

"What do you want?"

"Can we just talk for a minute?"

Michael walked up behind Trevor, "Problems?"

I smiled, "Thanks, but we're just going to talk."

Trevor waited for him to drive away before saying a word.

"What did I do?"

"What did you do?" I repeated. "Trevor, I told you before, you have done nothing."

"Then why won't you even text me back?"

"T, I like you, really. But I'm in a committed relationship that I already fucked up once."

"What does that have to do with texting me back?" His anger was coming back.

"You draw me in and don't let me out. I can't have that. I have to go, Trevor."

I quickly got on my bike and drove away before he could say anything else to try and make me stay. Jess was probably wondering where in the world I was.


	28. Out and About

"Rachel oh my goodness what happened to you?"

Jessica ran over to me after one look. I had barely walked in and she was running for a first aid kit.

"Jess, I'm fine. I turned too sharply and fell off. It happens sometimes."

"You're telling the truth?" She gave me a look.

"Yes. It was an accident and I'm fine."

"Alright. Can you help with dinner?"

Things went smoothly. Jess didn't have the slightest clue of my true plans. But it always made me feel bad. While I laid in bed the first night, I told myself I'd tell her the truth about everything. Wherever that took things, I'd just have to be okay with it.

On the second night it was hard to leave. Jess was having trouble falling asleep and my time was running out to leave. She took some pills to help herself sleep so she didn't keep me up as well. When I was finally able to slip out of bed, I had no time to change so I grabbed clothes to change in the car I'd be driving soon.

"Nice pajamas." Franklin joked as soon as he saw me.

"Please tell me you have something to change into."

"Yes dad." I rolled my eyes. "Jess was barely asleep when I left, I had no time to change. And I'm fucking cold."

My poor pajama selection was an oversized tee with a pair of shorts. It probably looked weird to anyone I passed on the way over, but I had a job to do. I quickly jumped into my sweatpants and changed my shirt before putting a black jacket on. Michael pointed out the new car for me to use tonight. I was to drive to the location Lester provided me with and wait, like usual.

This was the boring part. Although I don't know if I could take the heat straight on like the guys. I scrolled through LifeInvader until the guys jumped in the car, startling me.

"Drive, Rachel."

Michael didn't have to tell me twice. I was already pulling out but the cops were onto us. I could lose them easily, until I saw a car block the road in front of us.

"Hold on guys." I said as I pushed the pedal down all the way, busting through the poor blockade.

We all shared a crazy laugh as we ditched the police for good. As much as I wanted to keep speeding, I obeyed the speed limit. I was so awake now, it would be amazing if I could even close my eyes when I got home. For now, I parked the car in it's usual spot and shared the excitement with the guys although Trevor barely even looked at me.

"As usual, you'll get your percent in a few days." Lester reminded me.

I looked at my phone to see that Jess would be getting up for work in a matter of hours and I was on the other side of town.

"Guys, I gotta go."

Being so early in the morning, hardly any cars were out. The ride across town was cut in half from the usual time it took. I was able to easily sneak back in without waking Jess, and surprisingly, sleep came rather quickly. I hadn't gotten a wink before I left so I figured I'd sleep through Jess' alarm.

When I woke up it was one in the afternoon. This wasn't what I planned for but it happened. I made some late lunch and cleaned before Jessica returned, and when she did, she was not happy.

"Bad day?"

"Don't give me that crap."

I looked at her with wide eyes. Due to her tone I assumed she had a shit day, and didn't press her any further. Instead, she pressed me.

"Where in the world did you go last night Rachel?"

Quick excuse time, "I couldn't sleep so I thought some fresh air would help."

"So you're telling me you were outside for three hours?"

"I may have dozed off while I was out there." I rubbed my neck.

"Rachel Cooley you are so full of lies!"

"Jess, I thought we wouldn't fight anymore…"

"And I thought you'd stop lying to me, but clearly we were both thinking wrong."

"Jess…"

"Tell me where you were."

"I was just out."

"Rachel. Where were you."

"Jess, it doesn't matter!"

"Then why won't you tell me!?" Tears formed in her eyes but she didn't cry.

"I can't."

She was silent, then, "You were with him again. Weren't you?"

"What? No."

"You were. I fucking knew it."

"Jess…"

 


	29. Take It All Away

"Jess what are you doing?"

"I'm leaving for good this time."

"Please don't do this." I begged.

"I asked you one simple question yet you hide it from me. Clearly something is not working out here."

In the time we talked she had packed a suitcase full of clothes. That only meant she was leaving me again.

"Jess…"

"Don't 'Jess' me. I'm leaving."

The door slammed in my face and I didn't know what to think. I stood there for a long time, hoping the door would open again and for Jess to say it was a joke. I even opened the door myself to see the empty hallway. She was really gone again.

Her words were on repeat in my head as I aimlessly paced. This wasn't real. I was dreaming, right? I couldn't possibly live without Jessica. It hurt too much. So, what about death?

I grabbed my phone and did a search on the many ways to kill a human. The number of ways to go about it was off the charts. I opted for something easy but effective, and rummaged through the few bottles of pills we had.

"If this is it, goodbye Jess."

My mind was plagued with only her as I gulped down the contents of the container with water then laid down. It didn't take long for my vision to get hazy and then my eyes to close. This was it.

I didn't feel any pain. I didn't feel the hands that tried to shake me awake. I didn't hear my name screamed at me. I didn't know someone was trying to save me. I didn't know...

I heard a buzz. And then a beep. More beeps. I thought I was dead. What happened? Where was I? My eyes felt heavy but I forced them open to be blinded by the white lights above me.

"Christ…you're alive." Said a whisper beside me.

With effort I looked to my left at see Michael hovering by my side with a look of concern and no sleep on his face. I tried to say his name but I couldn't.

"Shh. Don't speak. I just…why Rachel?" He paused. "If Lester wasn't tracking your phone and Trevor wasn't in town again…God I don't want to think about it."

My heart broke all over again hearing him speak. What was I thinking? Jess left again and I took things too far. I wasn't only hurting myself, I was hurting my friends.

"Sorry." I barely managed to say as my eyes watered.

Michael reached for my hand and sighed. Only then did I realize the sleeping figure in the chair near the door of my hospital bed. It was Trevor. Michael noticed my gaze.

"He hasn't left yet. Frank stopped by earlier too."

My voice stayed at a whisper, "How long have I…"

"It's been a few days. You barely made it here alive."

"Mr. De Santa," A doctor walked in, "I see Rachel is awake now so I have to ask you and your friend to leave the room for a while."

Michael smiled weakly at me before waking Trevor up and dragging him out of the room. Our eyes met for a brief moment before the door was closed on him.

The doctor asked me how I was feeling. My voice was still a raspy whisper, but I could manage. They knew I attempted suicide and wanted me to get help. I didn't want it, but maybe I needed it. The doctor didn't push me for more information and let me fall back asleep. No matter how long I had been out cold, that wasn't sleeping and I felt exhausted. I did damage to my body and now I had to fix it.

I thought of Jess as I fell asleep. She probably had no clue what happened. She also probably didn't care. Why would she want to be with a train wreck like myself? The answer is she doesn't. That's why she left me and why I was here.


	30. I Needed You

I woke up again feeling much better. As before, Trevor was asleep in the chair. I tested my voice by calling out his name and this time my throat didn't hurt, but he didn't wake up. I didn't want to be too loud, so I grabbed the tv remote on the side table and threw it at him. That woke him up.

"Rachel." He was breathless upon seeing me.

I cast a smile, "This is like deja vu."

"Rachel…" He scooted the chair closer to my side and took my hand.

"Please say something else." My smile faded.

"You're okay."

We were engulfed in silence as I shook my head. I could feel myself wanting to cry just at the look in his eyes and the sound of his voice.

"Why Rachel? I'm not one to judge but, you wanted to take your life."

Here came the tears. I took a deep breath to try and hold them in, but they all came out with my voice.

"I'm sorry."

Trevor wiped my tears as I let everything I had out. I was sorry to myself, sorry to him, sorry to Jessica, sorry to everyone.

When I calmed down after some time, I told Trevor what my reason for my attempt was. Of course it was stupid, but he didn't say anything if he thought it.

"I need to let her go." I said aloud.

A knock on the door made me look up to see Franklin and Michael walk through the door. I quickly let go of Trevor's hand. Franklin stepped forward with a bouquet of flowers for me which livened up the room.

"How you feelin'?" Franklin asked.

"Alive."

The look on his face was complete shock. I apologized for my poor joke, then apologized for making them worry and going through all this. The doctor stepped in soon after.

"Full house today, I see. Well Rachel, if you're feeling up to it you can sign the release papers."

I nearly jumped out of bed. I didn't want to be here any longer than I already was. Within the hour, papers were signed, clothes were changed, and I was out.

"Do you want to stay at my place?" Michael asked.

"I've got other plans." I said.

"Please just call one of us if things get bad." Michael begged.

I smiled and gave him a hug. I could feel that he wasn't expecting it, but hugged me back.

"You sure you're okay?" Michael asked one last time.

"I'm fine. Trevor's gonna take me home."

An eyebrow was raised but he said nothing more as he hopped into his car. I turned to Franklin and gave him a hug too.

"I'll see you around, okay?"

I nodded and he hopped on his bike, leaving me with Trevor.

"You're okay with taking me home, right?"

"Of course."

Unlike his usual self, he helped me into his truck and drove with my favorite station on. He was unusually quiet and it was driving me crazy.

"You're not…mad with me, are you?" I asked as we stopped at a light.

"No, never."

"Trevor, I'm sorry."

He said nothing and my heart felt like it was stuck in my throat.

"I…if you even, I mean…you probably don't but if there's a chance…"

He glanced at me. "Just say it."

"I don't wanna be alone."

We slowed to a stop at another light, "Rachel, you don't have to be alone. I'm right here."

He leaned over and kissed me gently as the light turned green. The pain in my chest melted away instantaneously. Cars drove around us, honking and shouting profanities, but they barely seemed to exist to either of us. Trevor pulled away but left his hand for me to hold as he took me home.

At home, Trevor followed me upstairs until I ran for my phone which was left on the bed. As I expected, nothing from Jessica. I knew she wouldn't answer my calls and possibly delete my texts, but I had to give it a shot. I told her to meet me at Bean Machine tomorrow after she works for the last time. I needed to explain things and end this properly.

As for Trevor, it didn't take much, if anything, to get him to stay the night with me. It felt nice to crawl into bed with arms waiting to hold me close. I had already begun to let go of Jessica. It was Trevor all along who was right for me.


	31. Something Different

Trevor didn't want to leave me alone at Bean Machine, but I told him I would be fine or call him if needed. I sat outside sipping on an iced coffee when Jessica sat across from me with her own drink.

"Jessica."

"Rachel."

Both of us were trying to play it cool, though Jessica was definitely cold to me. I decided to skip the pleasantries and jump right into things for the sake of both of us.

"I'm going to tell you the truth, from start to finish. Please let me finish."

"I'm listening."

"To start, I never had a real job. I participated in street races for money. Never really earned enough to be proud of, but it was money. Our apartment? Also not purchased with money from a real job."

I looked around to see few people and lowered my voice anyways as I leaned in.

"I helped some guys that uh, hit the jackpot. They gave me a cut and I bought the house."

Jessica looked disgusted with me, but said nothing as I had asked.

"That happened…several times. The opportunity let me meet people, like the guy I was with. It also led me to mistakes, but I can't change that now."

Jess raised an eyebrow and I paused for a drink. This entire situation made me feel weird.

"Before you left this last time you thought I was with him but that's not true. I was helping those guys again. I wanted to be able to treat you to nice things without wasting my life at a day job."

I paused to think how to word this next part. I didn't know how she would react, good or bad.

"This last time, when you left…Jess I attempted suicide."

She gasped loud enough to be heard and she looked like she was talking to a ghost.

"Rachel…"

"Let me finish. It was stupid of me to do it, but I was frustrated you wouldn't believe me when I told you the truth. I didn't lie to you about anything, some things were just kept secret."

Jessica looked at me, confirming she could speak freely now. I nodded and prepared myself for whatever she was gonna throw at me.

"Rachel, I'm sorry. Are you okay? I didn't…I wouldn't have known if…"

"Don't think about it. I'm alive and well, right here, right now. I just wanted you to know the truth before leaving for good."

"For good?"

"Yeah. It makes no sense for you to be with me. I keep making mistakes when you could be with someone better. So I'm gonna sell the apartment unless you want it. I might move out of LS for a while."

"Rachel, what are you talking about?"

"You remember Trevor right? No, maybe you haven't met. I can't remember. Well, I'm going to move in with him for a while I think. I like him."

"So we're ending this? Is that what you're saying?" Jess looked hurt.

"Yeah. It's not you, never was never will be. It's me. You deserve better Jessica."

She looked close to tears but didn't cry, "Fine."

Her sadness quickly turned to anger as she stood up.

"Bye Rachel."

"Bye Jessica."

I watched her go one last time. For a long time I just sat at the table, finishing my drink and aimlessly picking at my nails before calling Trevor.

"You okay?" He asked upon seeing my face.

"Yeah. It's just weird to let something go that you've been a part of for so long."

"I know the feeling."

I felt a bit empty inside, but hardly sad at all. I wasn't happy per se, but there were no ties to hold me down. I felt free.

"Can we go to the beach?" I asked.

"Sure."

Trevor parked near the pier and followed me as I walked into the water. He stayed on shore and watched as I stared off into the sky and let the evening breeze blow my hair. It was weird not to be here with Jessica, but it didn't hurt. I just had to make new memories with Trevor.

"We can go now," I said after a while as I walked back toward Trevor. "Will you carry me?"

I hopped on his back so my feet didn't get sandy. Being this close, I smiled.

"Hey Trevor?"

"Yeah?"

"You'd let me live with you, right?"

He set me down next to his truck, "What?"

"Forget it, stupid question."

"Baby, if you wanna move into my trailer, be my guest."


	32. A Good Time

After Jessica picked up the rest of her things from the apartment, I sold some things for more pocket money. Hardly needed it now, but something may come up. The apartment was quickly sold but I didn't care much about making bank on it. Trevor let me move in with him after I cleaned the mess of a trailer he lived in. You could say we were officially a thing. Everyone knew it even if they didn't say it.

It was nice being able to wake up tangled in the sheets with Trevor and not worry about anything. I still had no real job, especially after Trevor told me he had enough to support me, though never an actual amount which made me all the more curious. I knew he took on jobs with Michael and Franklin before I was in the picture, and his cocaine business with Chef brought in money as well. I had to wonder, if he made so much money why was he here in the desert?

Trevor didn't like talking about money whenever I asked him. Most of our time was spent drinking or in the bedroom. Occasionally his friends would come over and we'd all hang out, or Trevor would let me have girl time alone. Every so often we went back to the city as well. There was hardly ever a dull moment.

I loved it. And I loved Trevor. I'm sure I told him that when I was drunk at some point, but never sober. At least not yet.

"Hey, let's go somewhere."

"Where? It's late." I looked up from my phone.

The sky was dark as the sun was almost down in the distance, but Trevor insisted we go out, yet wouldn't tell me what for. Although it was dark, I vaguely remembered where we were.

"Your airfield?"

"I wanna show you something."

Trevor helped me into his helicopter and I was confused and exited. This was only my second time in a helicopter, and this late at night had to be something special. Trevor took off in the direction of the city and before long my eyes lit up at the sight.

"Wow it looks so beautiful."

"Look to your right."

Trevor maneuvered the helicopter so the Vinewood sign came into view. It was so bright and so close. You couldn't get a better view than this. I leaned over and kissed Trevor on the cheek.

"Baby, you don't wanna make me crash, do you?"

"Of course not. You just look so good. You really know how to handle this well."

Trevor smirked, "I like what you're doing, but it's not a good time to turn me on."

I smiled and let Trevor do his thing. I noticed is heading toward the mountains and wondered where else we were going.

"Ever been to the top of Mount Chiliad?" I shook my head. "Well it's nothing special."

"Then why are we going?" I asked.

"We're going to have a good time."


End file.
